Not Like This

Have you ever had the munchies so bad?

But you're all out of the tastiest snacks

And all you want is a fine cheesies brand

With the cheese and the crunch

And the cheesy crunch

You tell yourself it'll only be a minute

Put a jacket over your slobby ass

Greasy hair, greasy face

Nasty stains on your sweatpants

But as you walk down the drugstore aisle

Is this a nightmare or a dream?

Cause in front of you is the most beautiful

Sexually attractive man that you have ever seen

Not like this, not like this, oh, not like this

Shiba-diba-diba-diba-doo

Oh, God, not here

Oh, God, oh why,

When I look like such a giant piece of shit?

With my crusty red eye gaze, I keep my distance, give him space

I don't want him to smell my B.O.

My nasty breath, my unwashed hole

I uncontrollably yawn

Right at that moment, out of stress

It's at that moment he looks over at me

So he thinks I look like this (yawn)

I'm so sad I start eating the cheesies

So now I'm also covered in crumbs

He says excuse me to pass me by

My upper lip gets caught on my gums

I look like a stoned rabbit as I reply to him

Nddeayy...

Not like this

Not like this

Oh!

Not like this

Shoo-ba-doo-ba-doo

*screaming*

Oh God! I hate this! Kill me now!

Let the sun explode and consume my bones

Then I start to wonder why

This sex angel god of life

Is here at a drug store

So very late at night

As he quickly runs by

He's clenching up his perfect buns

He beelines for the incontinence aisle

Yes, my baby has got the runs

But he's still beautiful

To me no matter what

I see his vulnerability

He's still good, he's still enough

But we were destined to meet tonight at this unsexy time of our lives

So I will never be with you

You're beautiful

Yes, I know that much is true

You're beautiful

But then he gets into his Tesla and I'm like

Eww gross