Boogeyperson (feat. Laura Danowski, Nick Beaton & Rodrigo Fernandez-Stoll)

There we go, all tucked in

Thanks, mom

Now before we turn out the light, we wanted to talk about something

What's that, dad?

Well, your teacher called today and said she heard you and your friends

Playing a game of eenie-meenie-minie-mo

Which is rooted in racist history

So we thought we'd have a little talk and tell you a story about what happens to children who misbehave

Well, I was picking which friend to share my granola bar with, I didn't use any bad words

Words matter Bryla, talking is like jazz, even the words you don't say can have hateful undertones

'Kay, talking is hate jazz

Have you heard of the boogie person?

No, is the boogie person scary?

Oh, the boogie person is worse than scary, the boogie person is problematic

The boogie person comes into the room of microaggressing children at night and whispers terrifying, problematic things into their ears

Words like spooky, chintzy, and ghetto

No, not chintzy

The boogie person might even whisper a joke they heard on Bill Maher

No, I hate him, God

The boogie person loves jokes

And remember, inside every joke lies

A reason to get someone who was having fun fired

Exactly

The boogie person has long, sharp teeth, perfect for biting into their favorite meal, chick-fil-a

That's homophobic chicken

But only when straight people eat it

And long fingers, all the better for pressing the measly ten percent tip button on the debit machine with when they're getting takeout

But if the boogie person's getting takeout, why tip?

Living wages, a wage gap, a kleptocracy

Thirty percent is the minimum

He sounds awful

They sound awful

The boogie person may be a foul monster, but there's no excuse for misgendering

Yeah, we aren't boogie people

The boogie person wears moccasins

But as long as they're purchased from an indigenous business, there isn't a problem there

It's gauche

We should know because we read up on it

Yeah, a whole Vox article

Most of a Vox article

It veered off towards the end about how colonizers should go back where they came from and I just can't do England in January

It hits a little different when the social justice is aimed directly at you

The boogie person hides in your closet

Listening to rap rock

Boogie person could be in the closet right now

Which is cultural appropriation because the boogie person is straight

Are there many boogie people?

Luckily for us, there's only one boogie person, Bryla

Oh, so then the boogie person is the ultimate minority?

What? Wait, uh, no

Maybe society is responsible for creating the boogie person

Who, like many groups historically scapegoated as perpetrators of social ills

Is misunderstood and demonized in media by people who've never shared their lived experience

What are you doing?

B-Bryla's flipping it on us

Perhaps we're the ones perpetuating knee-jerk, fight-fire-with-fire prejudice

That serves to further divide us

When we should strive for true equality with a theme of overarching hope

Instead of accusations and shame

Uh, hey there little buddy

Ah, the boogie person was listening to rap rock in your closet

I just couldn't stay in there any longer

I feel so ashamed, Bryla

The boogie person has dreads

I'm part-Mao-ry

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

But you have moccasins

I bought them at a Chippewa market

Sorry, sorry, sorry

Still don't like it

Look kid, just be nice to people and stand up to prejudice when you see it

I'll let myself out the window

I gotta go volunteer to teach yoga to disabled people

But are you Nepalese?

No

Out the window, you appropriating scum!

Get the hell out of here, you piece of crap, out!

Alright, I ain't watching, you're tearing my dreads

Some legless sap with palsy doesn't need you stepping into yoga's plane

You people are insane

I'm nailing the window shut

Please do

The boogie person looked poor and stinky

Gonna weld it a bit too, just to be safe

No boogie people getting back in here

Oh yeah, we don't like the poors

I know you're eight years old, Bryla

But maybe think about how you're bad for trying to share with your friends

Which is an act of assuming their economic status

Ah, I'm garbage

Exactly, goodnight beautiful

Don't judge my merit on my looks

Goodnight, child

Infantilizing

Goodnight, progeny

There you go

Goodnight, parental units