The Neighbour From The Black Lagoon (feat. LL Ellis)

Whatcha doin' over by the window, Dan?

Come here and rub some Vaseline on my armpit rash

Damn, water comes right up to our property line now

You know, Irma, I used to be skeptical of global warming

I told you it wasn't an Illuminati conspiracy

To get us to stop drinking so many two liters of Fanta

Thanks to rising water levels

This whole county is Black Lagoon now

I think it's exotic, Dan

It's an ecological disaster is what it is

And I'm not too hot on the new neighbor

You mean that scaly beast who moved in across the street?

No, not John Voight, I'm talkin' about him

In the Black Lagoon, that used to be our driveway

Oh, the creature

(growling)

Yeah, look at him over there

With his stupid gills and his dumbass webbed fingers

Yeah, yeah, I know you can see me, buddy

(growling)

Get away from the window, Dan

He's not bothering anybody

Not bothering anybody

Have you been in the backyard lately?

He built a mud hut back there

Thing smells like a Burger King garbage can in a sauna

And then inside the garbage can

Someone made a tuna salad with donkey smegma instead of mayonnaise

Different people have different natural smells

Oh, it's not just the smells, Irma

It's the sounds

Always screeching

(growling)

Always belching

(growling)

Oh, he's blasting that awful Creature metal

(growling)

Hey, turn it down

(growling)

He doesn't belong here

Our suburban ways confuse him

I came home yesterday and he'd shredded the shit out of the Christmas decorations

That was John Voight who just died

Oh, was it?

He walked up to the blow-up Santa, called it Karl Marx

And started giving it elbow drops

The Creature's not bad

He takes care of his property

And he's trying to fit in

And I'm trying to play nice, Irma

I lent the Creature our lawnmower yesterday

And, uh, oh yeah

Yeah, he's mowing the lagoon

Yep, there it goes

Glug glug glug glug

Four thousand bucks down the drain

(growling)

Have a little empathy, Dan

He's displaced

Wouldn't you be grateful if it was the other way around?

You, you, you mean if I had to leave this two story detached

And live in a black lagoon?

No way, Paco

You know those bugs that swim into your urethra?

Black Lagoon's full of 'em

He eats those things

Fucking dick bug eater

(Sweetie)

I'm gonna poison the fucking thing

(Don't poison the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Dan)

(Creatures from black lagoons are a protected species)

(Now get over here, my armpits won't dazzle in themselves)

(And they're getting itchy)

He ate the mailman

I haven't gotten a paycheck in six weeks

'Cause this thing likes the taste of a man in navy shorts

Oh, look, look, look, there he goes

Haha, there he goes

Farting egg sacks into our barbecue

Oh boy, hope you like the taste of salmonella on your Frank Surma

Shit, what's he coming over here for?

I'll get it

Hi Creature

What's he want?

(Growl)

Thanks, I just had it curled at the salon yesterday

(Growl)

What do you mean? It's like putting lipstick on a urethra bug

(Hahaha)

Well, I don't find creature humor very funny then

(Growl)

You wanna borrow another cup of fish sauce?

(Growl)

That cup is sort of like the whole bottle

(Growl)

Okay, okay, one second

Yeah, hey Dan?

(What?)

Poison the fish sauce