Compost The Witch (feat. Nick Beaton, Chris Robinson & LL Ellis)

Ha-ha! Tie the shackled witch to the stake!

Let me go!

Kiss our boys, will ya, witch?

We'll teach you to make out with our wives, witch!

I'm not a witch! I just like chicks

And you idiots all married lesbians

Classic witch talk

We'll see how talkie you are when your mouth is

Is full of flames 'cause we're gonna burn ya!

Yeah! Burn 'em!

You know how much CO2 is in a witch

Again, gay, not a witch

What'd you say, Gerald?

Burning witches releases almost ten kilos of carbon dioxide

Into the atmosphere

And that adds up

Considering the rate at which we're burning witches

From the knitting club

Ah, and the rugby club

And the carpentry social, yes

Get a clue, fellas

I didn't think burning a witch released that much CO2

Can't be ten kilos

It's just a frog underneath that witch magic and men's overalls

Dude clothes, making out with your wives

Not a witch, just a doughnut bumper

We gotta burn her, I think

It's sort of how we've done it for centuries

I've come to realise it's wasteful

You could feed a family of cannibals for a month with a single witch

Oh, I'm not gonna sanction using one atrocity to feed another

That's one way to look at it

But also it keeps the cannibals off the streets

Looking for tasty serfs like you and me

It's a harm reduction initiative

I still say we burn 'em

Think of how that looks

To set a witch afire, we're burning all these logs

Perfectly good lumber

That we could use to rebuild Larry's house

After it was taken out by a mud slide

Witch did that, by the way

We could starve the witch

Starve the witch

Lock her up until she starves

Starving the witch costs literally nothing

Well, you gotta pay to house the witch in a cell

You need guards to watch the witch

To make sure she doesn't turn anybody into a slug

Or teach our wives about orgasming

Idealism isn't free

Plus, that doesn't really solve the problem of getting rid of the witch's body

We could compost the witch

Compost the witch

Compost her

And use the compost for what?

Hunting carrots?

To grow more trees

Which we then use to make wood

To burn the witch

Yes, burn her

And we're back to burning the witches

You could also just let me go on kissing your wives

Well, yeah, that's kind of why we're burning you in the first place though, isn't it?

You're using all this energy to get rid of me

When you could just let me suck your wives' faces

And flick their beans

Flicking is completely carbon-neutral

You make a good eco-conscious point, witch

Happy wife, happy life

Happy witch, fix the sitch

The rhymes, it must be true

Alright, witch, if we decide not to burn you

And let you flick our wives' beans

And you let us photograph it all

We could sell the photographs and put that money towards

Uh, troll control?

Yeah, troll control, that's the stuff

If you let us photograph it

I'll have to run it by my girls

But I think we can work something out

Photograph the witch

Long live finger-blasting witches

Pay-o to pictures of the bean-flicking witch