I'd Like Your Full Name for My Report

I’m out for a jog, I’m setting the pace,

But a barrier is blocking my favorite place.

The sign says, “Footpath closed—repairs underway,”

But I don’t feel like following the rules today.

You’re standing there, wearing your safety vest,

Telling me to go round like you know what’s best.

But I’m not the one who’s in the wrong,

I’ve run this path my whole life long.

You can’t stop me with your tape and your cones,

No, you can’t stop me when I’m in the zone!

I’D LIKE YOUR FULL NAME FOR MY REPORT,

You’re telling me that I have got to take a detour.

I’D LIKE YOUR FULL NAME, THAT’S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO,

No, I won’t rest ‘til they all hear about you.

You’re saying it’s “dangerous,” that “it’s not safe,”

But I see no cracks, no holes, no breaks.

“Essential repairs”? Oh, come on now,

I’ve run this way for years—you’re lying somehow.

You claim you’re “keeping people out of harm’s way,”

It’s just another example… of the nanny state.

You think a helmet makes you the boss?

Well, let me tell you, I’m at a loss.

You’ll regret this when I make my call,

Your name’s going straight to city hall!

I’D LIKE YOUR FULL NAME FOR MY REPORT,

You’re telling me that I have got to take a detour.

I’D LIKE YOUR FULL NAME, THAT’S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO,

No, I won’t rest ‘til they all hear about you.

These leggings are imported, my visor’s from France,

And my running shoes? Custom fit by chance?

I’m running with style, this look opens doors,

That’s why my opinion is worth more than yours!

You really should treat me with more deference.

When this pastel ensemble displays such elegance.

You say there’s a gas leak just under the ground,

Well, where’s the smell? I don’t hear a sound.

You’re making excuses, wasting my time,

For a “danger” that’s clearly just in your mind.

You say I’m holding up your little crew,

But this so-called emergency? I don’t believe you.

Your warnings and tape won’t hold me back,

I know the truth, I’ve done the math.

This footpath is mine, you can’t stop my run,

You should know I’m recording this conversation.

I’D LIKE YOUR FULL NAME FOR MY REPORT,

You’re telling me that I have got to take a detour.

I’D LIKE YOUR FULL NAME, THAT’S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO,

No, I won’t rest ‘til they all hear about you.

So take down the cones… move out the way…

This is my path… I jog here every day.

I WANT YOUR FULL NAME… OH YES I DO…

‘Cause I’m gonna make sure that they’re hearing ‘bout you.

Yes, I’m gonna make sure they all hear about you.