Shadows

I don't think anyone decides when it's time to go off track

Like when I was 20, drinking away my pain cause I had a lot to unpack

Most of the things I held on to, a lot of misplaced guilt

And I was surrounded by toxicity so I'd hide how I'd feel

And I tried myself, most of my friends don't know

It's nobody's fault but mine, I thought about letting go

But I changed my mind and I'm glad, checked myself in the next day

My therapist sat me down, I told him I'm not okay

He asked me about my life but all I could do was cry

I think I needed that release more than I thought so at the time

And so the sessions went on, he helped me realize shit

Like why I was so hard on myself, and how I gotta loosen my grip

He put me on a couple pills but they only helped a little bit

And that went on for like a year, I would have panic attacks and shit

But we know time heals all, so I started feeling myself

I got my confidence back and I think I'm doing pretty well

And so I said goodbye, I thanked him for his time

He said that you should thank yourself, and I said I would this time

I told him

I said I would this time, I told him

I know you're with me

I know you follow me to every single city

An uninvited but appreciated memory

And you're distant but visit whenever

And I know that you'll be here forever

Made it to LA, but everything went wrong

The music thing really wasn't working out and I had no job

I crashed my car in that year, my apartment smelled so bad

I was just trying to survive, forget all the plans that I had

Promises I never got to keep, I know my fans were crushed

And when I'd see them I'd feel guilty cause it looked like I gave up

But in truth that's not how it went, I can't create when I'm down

And most of the time I was upset cause I felt this pressure all around

And I knew I couldn't live life in panic or live my life with this fear

If it wasn't for Alayna, my sweetheart, I don't know if I'd be here

Sometimes things don't go to plan, some things are out of our control

You can either get what you want or you can just get old

Fast forward here and now, I'm really proud of myself

I grew my hair way out, just trying something else

Quit nicotine last year, it's almost been 12 months

I'm feeling better than ever, I think I finally grew up

But that's the thing I grow, and growing's all I've done

I'm always learning new things, we're evergreen my love

We all got a friend in the dark, waiting just to knock us down

I haven't seen him in a while, but I know that he's around

I know you're with me

I know you follow me to every single city

An uninvited but appreciated memory

And you're distant but visit whenever

And I know, and I know

I know you're with me

I know you follow me to every single city

An uninvited but appreciated memory

And you're distant but visit whenever

And I know that you'll be here forever

I know you're with me

I know you follow me to every single city

An uninvited but appreciated memory

And you're distant but visit whenever

And I know that you'll be here forever