Jerkin' Everywhere

My wife won't suck me so I have to jerk off

In the car, in the yard, and at the shopping mall

I'm pulling it out before I even think twice

And the spot right here is looking real nice

The neighbors are watching but I don't care

I'll drop these pants almost anywhere

I'm jerking it left, I'm jerking it right

In the middle of the day or the middle of the night

If you see my hand moving better look away

Cause I'm jerking it everywhere every damn day

Yeah, I'm jerking it here, I'm jerking it there

The cops were called, but I don't care

From the porch to the store or the county line

I'll jerk it anywhere at any damn time

Caught me red-handed right outside the bar

Got my pants around my ankles in my buddy's car

People keep telling me I've gone too far

But I'll jerk this meat in the middle of the bar

I'm jerking it left, I'm jerking it right

In the middle of the day or the middle of the night

If you see my hand moving better look away

Cause I'm jerking it everywhere every damn day

Yeah, I'm jerking it here, I'm jerking it there

The cops were called, but I don't care

From the porch to the store or the county line

I'll jerk it anywhere at any damn time

Now I'm sitting in court, the judge looking down

Told me I'm the biggest jerk in this whole damn town

I got cuffed and jailed, told me to play by the rules

But I'll jerk off in jail right on my shoes

I'm jerking it left, I'm jerking it right

In the middle of the day or the middle of the night

If you see my hand moving better look away

Cause I'm jerking it everywhere every damn day

Yeah, I'm jerking it here, I'm jerking it there

The cops were called, but I don't care

From the porch to the store or the county line

I'll jerk it anywhere at any damn time

Any damn time