On the App

Jake No he's fake Shame Vincent Boring Duncan Same Rick the dick machine What's wrong with Rick the dick machine I don't think Rick the dick machine is actually his name Cedric No Rohit No Chucho No Aw Cedric Again Chuck No Drake No Jet no Brad no rohit joe no no Look at these magnificently underwhelming men You have no idea He shaves his chest He loves his booze His beard his shoes His vibe his views His lives in queens he rips his jeans That's way too many neck tattoos He says he's my soul mate I'm thinking He isn't He's dressed like a wizard He's holding a lizard And not to be judgemental but he's currently in prison Attention seeking narcissist who seem to think they're geniuses And though you never ask insist on showing you their penises Insatiable lothario Fallatio scenario And over bearing over sharing ear ring wearing casa novas Please Jesus on high Don't let her die alone There must be a decent available guy somewhere inside this phone What about Cody Cody Cody could be fun He's terrible at spelling and he seems to have a gun He's Scorpio He's Scorpio he's dangerous So what He's fascinating Absolutely not What about Zachary Zachary Zachary's ok Zachary is married with a baby on the way How'd you He's lying and his name is really Joe But how do you Don't ask me how I know Help god if you can Help this poor girl (no need to be so mean) No need to be so mean (There must be a vaguely acceptable man trapped in this ivy machine) Whoa trapped in this ivy machine What about Rudy Careful Rudy a shot Whoa you must admit that Rudy has a photogenic stop Admittedly it's no You can really see the hey It's beautiful just take that think away What about Justin Justin sweet Justin He loves his dog He's gorgeous He's swiped me too Ugh who am I kidding he's out of my league Don't say that Sure he's big and handsome but so are you Although you did message him at three am To ask him if his dog is single (Dog is single I know) Stupid drunk Robyn Please Jesus on high (trust me it's fine) Just give me back my phone Everything's under control There must be a halfway acceptable (There must be a slightly less horrible man) There must be a clean and convenient man There must here somewhere There must be a decent available guy Somewhere in New York