Born Too Late (To Be a Cowboy)

I was born too late to be a cowboy

The prairie done been parcelled out and paved

The stallion, the steer and the cowboy need frontier

But everywhere I stop and pee

Someone yells "private property"

I was born too late to be a cowboy

Oh hey there, prairie dog

Oh hey, Tex

See him ridin' past my burrow

With his silver spurs a danglin'

Down the shoulder of good old interstate 73

Little patches such as these

Behind Mickey D's and Chuckie Cheese

Are the only bands of unbuilt lands

For a dwindlin' colony

Hey wait, little buddy, what's that I see?

It's a sign from a real estate company

Well what's it say?

Oooh, you're not gonna like this cowboy

Oh c'mon prairie dog, I can take it

Plus I left my readers in the saddle

Well it looks your horse just pooped upon

The future site of Beverly's Nail Salon

Consarnit!

Hop back into the saddle, old friend

I'll get in the saddle bag. let's see what we can find

All righty! Horseback ride

I was born too late to be a cowboy

I can feel it with every football field and road I ride across

Oh give me a home

Where the buffalo roam

But the only buffalo left is buffalo sauce

Up ahead we see a city neon lights

And late late nights

I think we should take the long way 'round, PD

I agree!

Cause every door there got a knob

And every buckaroo's got a job

But we just want someplace to ride and be

That's wild and free

Carhorns honking at me in the saddle

Makes me want to up and skedaddle

Well, there's got to be someplace without cities

I know! Antarctica!

Ha, we'd freeze!

Well, I know a place where there'd be no cars

Let's roam the ranges of Planet Mars

And when there's nowhere left to run

They'll say, "that's how the west was won!"

I was born too late to be a cowboy

The prairie done been parcelled out and paved

The stallion, the steer and the cowboy need frontier

But everywhere I stop and pee

Someone yells "private property"

C'mon

Born too late to be a cowboy

I can feel it with every football field and road I ride across

Oh give me a home

Where the buffalo roam

But the only buffalo left is

Buffalo, NY, buffalo sport mascots

Buffalo hot wings, buffalo tots

The only buffalo left is buffalo sauce

And I was born too late

Well prairie dog, at least I still got you

Can I come down in your burrow?

Sure, cowboy you betcha

It's dark in here

Watch your step there's a rattler in torpor over there

Rattler in torper? Yowza!