I Was Wrong

It’s been 8 months and 8 days no booze (wow man)

8 months and 8 days but who’s counting? I spent 21 years tryna find a way to conquer my fears, but looky here in just 8 months i found it. Cause I was sipping liquor like it was a youth fountain, the folks and my sisters always said “boy you drowning, how can you allow this shit to happen to yourself? How do you spend all of your money on blacking out?” And well, I really had no answer for that. Yeah I had a few excuses but they all were pretty bad. I would lie saying “oh it helps me feel like a king”, but I really drank so I wouldn’t feel anything. See me and the bottle we had a steady thing, long as I had got to the bottom it’d always burry my problems. The only part wrong was I wanted it often, and the withdrawals made it almost impossible to get off it.

I thought i had it all under control, but yeah I was wrong, yeah I was wrong, yeah i was wrong (x2)

Okay I walked into a detox a .45, they said “damn thats pretty high for a guy your size.” And the funny thing about it is I wasn’t even buzzing, actually I wished that I had drank more. (it’s never enough) The First thing I seen someones OD’ing on the floor, and I was tryna look away but it was hard to ignore. Plus the kid looked to be no older than I am, and now the staff’s rushing in administering the narcan. The room seemed to darken, and then we seen them hollering for god to stop him from turning to ash. Gave him four more doses, and then he came back. I watched it all happen and then I ran to the trash. I won’t ever forget that. I never felt so sick, had me wishing that I didn’t exist. Had me thinking why was that something I had to witness? But looking back now I know it was no accident. (there’s no accidents)

I thought I knew all I need to know, but yeah I was wrong, yeah I was wrong, yeah I was wrong (x2)

Yeah I woke up the next day with the cold sweats. Just hoping that kid was okay, I ain’t know yet that he was back in the building, until I left my room for meds and saw my mans straight chillin’. I went to introduce myself so I could fill him in about how watching him on the ground had all of us feeling. Got of us kneeling, and praying to a god for his healing. And he received what I said well, but simply was failing to admit that he ever felt like he could’ve been killed then, and how the next time he’ll only take a little bit. He thanked me a million times for my concern, and tried to walk away but I grabbed him by the shirt and stared him in soul which had gave me the chills. Though we’d just met, it felt like we’d been friends since children. And i don’t know how it came to my head, but I told him he’s gotta second chance waiting when he’s willing.

I thought I really lost all of my hope, but still I was wrong, still i was wrong, yeah still I was wrong.