In the Way

The grass is sodden from the rain

I trod in dog poo on the way

I can't be bothered anyway, but I'm here

My dear, so let's just get this damn thing planted

My spade gets stuck into the ground

There's clay and tree roots all around

This may be the thing that strikes me down, but I'm here

So we're, just gonna finish what we started

The pace is slow, yes (but)

We're making progress

I go to dig a hole, but

Then before i know it

There's a chicken in the way

Where did she come from?

She's got her bum on

My new rhododendron

A chicken in the way

Where did she come from and

And are you tryna ruin my day?

I try to reason with it first

My god, this chicken is the worst

It feels like Swampy in reverse, but I'm not cutting

Down trees, I just wanna get this stupid plant in

My wife and child think it's great

Ask me to smile while they take, photos

I know that will document the day, of my

First breakdown that a tiny little bantam started

I try and bribe it

I threaten violence

I run out of ideas and

I lie face down and cry, cos there's a

Chicken in the way

Where did you come from?

This ball of fluff come

To make me look redundant

A chicken in the way

It's not my day

She looked into my eyes and seemed to say

No one respects you

You just wander round here and take up space

You do nothing of value, did you

Ever stop to think, maybe you're the one

Getting in the way?

Not again

Not again

Not again

When will it end

Not again

Not again

Not again

When will it end

There's chicken in the way

It's not my day

She's got me now, she's gonna make me pay

A chicken in the way

She wants to fight me

We speak then I see

More existential crises

A chicken in the way

Is here to stay

I'm going down the pecking order

More and more every single day

Chicken in the way

Chicken in the way