Like I Was Wrong

Sometimes I wanna remain where I am but

Things change, they come and go and

I find myself really devastated

I find myself looking down on

Those moments when I wasn’t really good to myself and

Those people around me as a

Fucking result, you know

I just wanna be free from it

Sometimes I fall for everything I’ve always held wrong, it kept me

Indefinitely trapped inside my head, made me a deadbeat

I’d see myself just falling off a trampoline

From self abuse and hatred

And lately it’s more so than it had been

I wonder if my cell phone ever sets me

So damn free

Elaborately thinking where to land feet

Dismantling

My brain, erasing everything I’ve dealt with

It stayed in me for ages, now I see it’s lived there rent free

And in my dreams I’ve never really dreamt to be more friendly

To my own fucking self, I’ve felt more like a hamster on a treadmill

I did become a captain of my wrecked ship

I thought I’m yet to have enough to play big in this rap league

And everyone I deeply cared about, they surely left me

Well, guess I was sharpening their knives so they could stab me

Cause I’d been married to the rhymes before they even met me

My heart was traumatized regardless, but I’ve got no plan B

Attempting just to reach the bar, feels like an inch apart, it’s really tempting

To stitch my scars and stop pouring my heart, cause it’s so empty

They say the opportunities are out there, there’s plenty

But I’m just sick and tired of being neglected, collecting

Myself from every time I drop a song, I get so hectic

I watch some dudes around me pop and blow, they say they preped it

I look at them, it makes me feel inactive

Correct me if I’m wrong, sometimes I feel I should’ve wrapped it already

But

Sometimes I’m feeling so small

Ain’t nobody hearing me

Sometimes it feels I can fall

No one saw the blood I had to bleed

But my dream is born inside my pencil

And my spirit draws its own stencil

Do I really hope to know the answer

To all my questions that were asked?

And all I truly want’s to find my way back home

And everywhere I go I just don’t belong (I just don’t belong)

And when I had to leave, nobody called my phone (nobody called my phone)

Like I was wrong

Like I was wrong

It’s like a blessing in disguise

I was a mess inside my eyes

And life was testing if I rise

Above my everlasting lies

So then eventually she’d pass the pie

I had to kill myself before I entered paradise

I saw my demons dressed in ties

Long breaths, all black, born sad, bold heads

Cold blooded motherfuckers, on meth

They put me on the cross when I empathized

To every one of them, yet fuckers came to watch my self demised

They promised me a diamond crown

A house with a golden tree

But all they tossed was life of drought

Coupled with a thorn wreath

There wasn’t no mighty crowd

None to make the storms leave

It froze me from the inside out

Wondered why I’ve cold feet?

Now I fucking see what you got me on

Taking me away from my own home

Made me run too fast for the marathon

Glad I never fell for some methadone

Surely I did pass it on cause I had no audacity

Was blessed to have been nested next to everything that had to be

My remedy to heal from wounds that people would’ve left in me

They laughed at me, but now they don’t even exist in memories

My stress was just a catalyst

And if there was god, I would’ve thanked him

For cleaning up my ruins and landfills

I’m just another rebel and I knew I would make it:

My dream was to become free from the aching

Now let’s see where it’ll take me

Sometimes I’m feeling so small (sometimes I feel so small)

Ain’t nobody hearing me (no-no)

Sometimes it feels I can fall (no, I can\'t fall)

No one saw the blood I had to bleed (yeah)

But my dream is born inside my pencil (my dream)

And my spirit draws its own stencil

Do I really hope to know the answer

To all my questions that were asked? (all my questions)

And all I truly want’s to find my way back home

And everywhere I go I just don’t belong

And when I had to leave, nobody called my phone (had to leave, no-no)

Like I was wrong (like it was my fault)

Like I was wrong