Beyond Squishy Sells Out

Woke up at the crack of dawn

Sat up in my bed and put my big hat on

My boots and my blue jeans too in that order

Hopped up in my Chevrolet

I'm thinking bout that girl I saw yesterday

Abs of steel and forearms brick and mortar

I asked her for her workout plan

Good Lord knows I'm a tiny man

She told me she would sell it for a quarter

So if you reckon I'm two dimes and a nickel

Just a little bit littler

You'd be right 'cause my shirt is tight

When I wear a Five XXXS size

And now I'm a quarter shorter

That's twenty five cents, a quarter shorter

I've been working in the fields from 9 to 5

And then 5 to 9 the next day

For a nickel and twenty pennies' pay

Saw a girl from my Silverado

She's a back-page-bottom-corner kinda model

Duplex nose and overbite that could open a bottle

She was wearing those barefoot shoes

Proposed an ultimatum I had to choose

Please just leave me alone I got social anxiety

She gave me a choice between a flatbed Ford

And a half-smoked twice-dropped wet Newport

Now I'm sittin' on my back porch

Smokin' half of a Newport

And I'm just a quarter shorter

Now I'm a quarter shorter