Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rhum

Santa's stressed out as the holiday season draws near

He's been doing the same job now going on two thousand years

He's got pains in his brain and chimney scars cover his buns

He hates to admit it but Christmas is more work than fun

He needs a vacation from bad decorations and snow

Mr. Claus has escape plans, a secret that only he knows

Beaches and palm trees appear night and day in his dreams

A break from his wife, his half frozen life

The elves and that damn reindeer team, hey

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Santa's run off to the Caribbean

He thinks about boat drinks and fun in the sun

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Plastic creations and crass exploitations aren't good

He wants to go back to simple toys made out of wood

Just for the weekend he'd like to be Peter Pan

Get out of his long johns and dance with a sword

Dance with a sword in the sand

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Santa's run off to the Caribbean

Marimbas, Kalimbas, he's playing steel drums

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Santa's run off to the Caribbean

Marimbas, Kalimbas, he's playing steel drums

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Santa's run off to the Caribbean

A week in the tropics and he'll be all right

Sporting a tan as he rides out of sight

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, Good Night

He'll be back in a week, don't worry, Kitty

It's just a break, and we all need a break