The Actor

Last night I did this thing Where I talk to random people at the bar I took some big ol' swings and it actually Got me kinda farther than I ever thought it would I used to have more confidence in college When I knew every person at the party I was rock solid Now I'm a stranger to Sara with no H And I'm paying thirteen dollars for a drink And she told me I remind her of Ted Mosby I said, "Honestly, I'm flattered" She said, "Don't be" I said, "Really, no, I'm flattered Ted's annoying but I like Josh Radnor" She said, "Who?" I said, "The actor" I'm lonely on Long Island And I wanna let my haircut down And I look for love online But there's gotta be more ways To take advantage of my prime I mean, come on I used to have more confidence in high school When I won choir's biggest heartthrob And I felt cool when I smoked But now marijuana makes me overthink And I'm paying eighteen dollars for a drink And she told me I remind her of Ted Mosby "Is it 'cause I keep talking?" She said, "Mostly" "Not to say that I'm not flattered, after all I really like Josh Radnor" She said, "Who?" I said, "The actor" She said, "Who?" I said, "The actor" She said, "Who?" I said, "The actor Who plays him on TV" (On TV) On TV (On TV) And I don't recognize this person I've become here at the bar I kind of like it though I'm giving finance bro And that's a start And although I'm known to share My deepest secrets right away I don't think Sara with no H Needs to know yet that I crochet Guess I can be the actor You can cue the laughter I can play a character Life ain't so different from TV We each said "I could have another" I said, "Jinx" Now I'm paying forty dollars for our drinks And she told me I remind her of Ted Mosby I said, "Honestly, I'll take Ted over Barney" She said, "Barney's problematic But I've always loved Neil Patrick Harris" I said, "Who?" She said, "The actor" I said, "Who?" She said, "The actor" "Do you like him or like the actor Who plays him (on TV, on TV, on TV, on TV)?" "This one's on me"