The Me Inside of Me

Think, long and hard, conjure her up in your mind

What would she say? Wha-what's her final statement to a cold, uncaring planet?

"Dear world

Believe it or not, I knew about fear

I knew the way loneliness stung

I hid behind smiles and crazy hot clothes

I learned to kiss boys with my tongue"

That's good

"But oh, the world, it held me down," uh

"It weighed like a concrete prom queen crown"

No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings

No one gets her insecurity

I am more than shoulder pads and makeup

No one sees the me inside of me

Jesus, you're making me sound like Air Supply!

Keep going, this has to be good enough to fool the cops

Whoa! Is it murder?

No, look, here's a suicide note

"They couldn't see past my rockstar mystique

They wouldn't dare look in my eyes

But just underneath was a terrified girl

Who clings to her pillow and cries

My looks were just like prison bars

They've left me a myriad of scars"

"Myriad," nice

"No one thinks a pretty girl has substance

That's the curse of popularity" (Popularity)

"I am more than just a source of handjobs

No one sees the me inside of me"

Heather Chandler is not your everyday suicide

You should cancel classes

No way, Coach, I send the kids home before lunch and the switchboard'll light up like a Christmas tree

Our children are dying! I suggest we get everyone into the cafeteria and just talk and feel, together

Thank you, Ms. Fleming, call me when the shuttle lands

I'm telling you, we all misjudged Heather Chandler, this is the loveliest suicide note I've ever read

"Box up my clothing for Goodwill

And give the poor my Nordic Track

Donate my car to crippled kids

Or to those ghetto moms on crack

Give them my hats and my CDs

My pumps, my flats, my three TVs"

"No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings

But I weep for all I failed to be (I failed to be)

Maybe I can help the world by leaving

Maybe that's the me inside of me"

Aw, hell, long weekend for everybody!

Hey, not so fast, kids They're refueling the buses, which gives us a solid half-hour of healing

Now I have mimeographed copies of the suicide note so you all can feel Heather's anguish

I never knew about her pain

Go on!

Her life had hit a rocky patch

Feel!

Deep down she wasn't cruel or vain

Heal!

She didn't mean to be a snatch

Veronica, you're very quiet, what's on your mind?

Uh, maybe Heather realized that in order to be happy she had to give up her power

And that the only way to do that was death

My God

Look what we've done, we're breaking through

Heather would be so proud of you! (And you, and you, and you, and you!)

No one thinks a pretty girl can touch you

Heather touching me

But she's made us better than we were

Heather's dead, but she will live inside me

And I'll be the me inside of her (Holy crap! This is awesome!)

(Heather cried, our sins fell on her shoulders) Jesus Christ!

(Heather died, so we could all be free) I'm bigger than John Lennon!

Heather's gone, but she will live forever

She's the dove that sings outside my window

She's the twin from whom I'm separated

She's the horse I never got for Christmas

Heather sees the me inside of me

Heather is the me inside of me

Inside of me