Getting Married Today (Glee Cast Version)

Bless this day, pinnacle of life Husband joined to wife The heart leaps up to behold This golden day Emma, I can't find my shoes Today is for Emma Emma, I give you the rest of my life To cherish and to keep you, to honor you forever Today is for Emma, my happily soon-to-be wife Emma, we're really getting married Pardon me, is everybody there? Because if everybody's there I wanna thank you all for coming to the wedding I'd appreciate you going even more I mean, you must have lots of better things to do And not a word of this to Will, remember Will You know the man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not 'Cause I wouldn't ruin anyone as wonderful as he is But I thank you all for the gifts and the flowers Thank you all, now it's back to the showers Don't tell Will, but I'm not getting married today Bless this day, tragedy of life Husband yoked to wife The heart sinks down and feels dead This dreadful day Emma, I can't find my good cuff links They're on the dresser, right next to my suicide note Listen, everybody, look I don't know what you're waiting for, a wedding? What's a wedding? It's a prehistoric ritual Where everybody promises fidelity forever Which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of Which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize he's Saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should so Thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married You've been grand, but I'm not getting married Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married And don't tell Will, but I'm not getting married today Go, can't you go? Why is nobody listening? Goodbye, go and cry at another person's wake If you're quick, for a kick, you could pick up a christening But please, on my knee there's a human life at stake! Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear Or do you want to see a crazy lady fall apart in front of you It isn't only Will who may be ruining his life You know, we'll both of us be losing our identities I telephoned my analyst about it, and he said to see him Monday But by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with the other garbage- I'm not well, so I'm not getting married You've been swell, but I'm not getting married Clear the hall, 'cause I'm not getting married Thank you all, but I'm not getting married And don't tell Will, but I'm not getting married today Bless this bride, totally insane Slipping down the drain And bless this day in our hearts As it starts to rain Today is for Emma (go, can't you go?) Look, you know I adore you all (Emma, I give you) But why watch me die (the rest of my life) like Eliza on the ice? Look, perhaps I'll collapse (to cherish and to keep you) In the apse right before you all So take back the cake (to honor you forever) Burn the shoes, and boil the rice Look, I didn't want to have to tell you (today is for Emma) But I may be coming down with hepatitis (my, happily, soon-to-be wife) I think I'm gonna faint So if you wanna see me faint, I'll do it happily But wouldn't it be funnier to go and watch a funeral? (My adorable wife) So thank you for the 27 dinner plates 37 butter knives, 47 paperweights, 57 candleholders One more thing (I'm not getting married) amen! (Softly said) but I'm not getting married, amen! (With this ring) still, I'm not getting married, amen! (I thee wed) still, I'm not getting married, amen! Let us pray that we are not getting married today!