Today I Cried

So sick and tired of this bullshit

Even people 'round me are telling me I'm wasting my time with this shit

But I know different I swear

All I need is that one chance, and I'll be back on my feet again

No more me and my tears

Sick of tryna balance the music while I'm balancing the fuzz

I know if I get this music thing poppin' your soul

Everything, everything, and any how

I only went and fucking did it

Used to be a dream but now I fucking live it

Weren't even writing raps

I was down and out, about to fucking quit it

Lucky for me that I fucking didn't

See, Lily, came along when I was at my lowest

Selling wraps of coke not the raps I flow with

I made it and I owe it to a chat I had with her

Who knows where I'd be if that chat hadn't occurred

Back with the bag, with the bag full of herbs in it

Instead I got her on a track and I murdered it

My name started causing murmurs in the industry

But none of these labels would work with it until Virgin did

Put my first single out and we earned a hit

That's why we're never really burned off

'Cause he and me I know it must burn a bit

Just did a show and everybody knew the words to it

The day I risked everything for

I couldn't have given anything more

All these years have weighed heavy

But this is something that nothing could have readied me for

What you think all my problems are remedied

'Cause I get an applause, they're not

Today I cried and I don't know why

But today I cried and I don't know why

Today I cried and I don't know why

But today I cried and I don't know why

My single went in the three

My album went in the two

For a debut not to shabby if I have to I make do

Find at least some form of reward for the things I came through

But it's different to the perfect picture people paint you

On the way up you might be a person people take to

Then break through and the same people who rated you hate too

All of a sudden anything you may do may make news

And I'm sick to death of explaining what is ain't true

Spend a day in my shoes and maybe you would feel the same too

Though I know I've got to make the most of it, there'll be no take two

And I'm grateful I would hate to see 'em 'cause I'm living my dream now

But I don't sleep now, and all these hours awake are making me senile

Snap every time I'm seen now, even people I've been 'round

A whole life looking at me like I'm a new me now

They say I've changed, but I really don't see how

I've always lived my life taking corners that I can't see 'round

Never knowing what it is that I'm trying to seek out, what I need

But making it to question me now

Today I cried and I don't know why

But today I cried and I don't know why

Today I cried and I don't know why

But today I cried and I don't know why (I don't know why I cried)

I know it might seem mad to you, it's mad to me

All I've done is what I've had to do

Been who I've had to be

But the path I've walked has been so gravely

It's been a strain to remain humane amongst all this inhumanity

Thankfully, I had nan who was a mum and a dad to me, huh

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family

Temporary happiness for me has been a fallacy (East south side is it?)

Stick your sympathy, it means jack to me

Sick of hearing how happy I should be I just don't know how to be

I can no longer pretend, no more making out to be

Maybe all I need's a slap, someone to shake it out of me

Help me to spell my irrational thoughts, and think more rationally

Sick of being in the state of vanity, it's agony

Am I torn or is it all some twisted form of vanity?

Can it be I'm really just obsessed with myself

Obsessive, compulsive, depressed, my pressures reflecting my health

Taking care of my career, but I'm neglecting myself

Rejected therapy, no I just won't accept any help

I pride myself on my honesty, but in all honesty today I lied

I was asked how I was and I said I was fine, I'm not

Today I cried and I don't know why

But today I cried and I don't know why (I think I figured it out)

Today I cried and I don't know why

(People even telling me how strong I must be)

But today I cried and I don't know why

(Overcoming everything I've been through)

(But the reality is, I ain't overcome half of it yet)

Today I cried and I don't know why

(I just brushed everything to the side, buried it as possibly deep as I could)

But today I cried and I don't know why (Slowly, but surely)

Today I cried and I don't know why (Everything I buried is crept to the surface, I'm finding the amazing ability***)

(Everything that I buried has crept to the surface)

(And I'm finally being made to deal with it)

But today I cried and I don't know why

(Maybe it's for the best, I hope it is)