Too Good For the Average Man

When Russia was white

It was white for the classes

And black for the masses

Unfortunate asses

All wealth belonged to few

When England was Tudor

The king and his cronies

Had cocktails at Tony's

The poor had baloneys

And that's how England grew

Sing la and huzzah for the poor folks

As long as the poor folks are your folks

Finer things are for the finer folk

Thus society began

Caviar for peasants is a joke

It's too good for the average man

Supper clubs are for the upper folk

Packed like sardines in a can

Through the smoke you get your check and choke

It's too good for the average man

Each poor man has a wife he must stick to

Rich men have a different habit

To be caught in flagrante delecto

Is much too good for the average rabbit

All night parties, drinking like a lord

Fit into our social plan

Waking in the alcoholic ward

Is too good for the average man

Rich old age can blossom like a rose

Plastic surgeons have a plan

Cutting off your face to spite your nose

Is too good for the average man

Fancy food is for the fancy taste

Diet's for the poorer man

Gaining too much weight below your waist

Is too good for the average can

Baseball stars marry girls who are cookies

What they get is what they reckoned

But it sure must be hell for the rookies

To get on first and be thrown out at second

Psychoanalysts are all the whirl

Rich men pay them all they can

Waking up to find that he's a girl

Is too good for the average man

It's too good for the average man