Joe

When I retired, the first two years I was downhearted

But then I gave myself a good going-over

"Joe," I said, "You can't sit at home like that and waste your time

You gotta get out and do things"

Well, the day goes pretty fast for me now

Keep busy, keep moving, that's the trick

You wake at ten

Fold up the bed

You don't wanna leave your couch open all day, you know?

It's depressing

You cook an egg

You toast some bread

You cook for yourself, you save a bundle

If you don't keep track of your money, who will?

You think about the day ahead

You don't go feeling sorry for yourself

It's like I said

You can sit at home and be mad at the world

Or you can get out and do things

You take a walk

You meet a chum

There's one guy who lives down by National Biscuit

Boy, you should see the nice aroma

You shoot the bull

You argue some

And maybe he calls up a couple of other fellows

To come over or play some poker

You lose at gin

Until they come

This guy remembers what cards you picked up

The dirty bum

But even getting beat at gin sure beats doin' nothin'

You take a bus

You take a train

You go visit your wife's grave

On the way you read the Reader's Digest

It does you good

To use your brain

Or maybe you go out and see your cousin

You bring a six-pack

You's take a stroll

Down memory lane

When we was young we was always together

And raisin' cane

We go back a long ways, him and me

Oh, the times we had

I remember once

Back in '22

We were at this fair

With these girls we knew

On this crazy ride

Where you screamed or you prayed

The Big Dipper, they called it

We could hardly walk

As we left the car

So we staggered down

For a candy bar

Then we sat and laughed

In the penny arcade (Ho ho)

At six o'clock

You watch the news

Them politicians get you so mad, you throw your slippers at the set

You cook some franks

No big to-do's

Most nights you lay around, you straighten up

Maybe you call your daughter

You watch a game

You take a snooze

But then there's Sunday

Sunday's different

You change your shirt

And shine your shoes

'Cause you're goin' round the block to the tavern

You shoot some pool

You drink some beer

You don't have to drink a lot to have a good time

Yeah, maybe three, four in an evening

You find a pal

You bend his ear

You meet a lot of your old crowd there Sundays

Sometimes a bunch of you, you sing

The kind of song you never hear

Like "Pretty Baby" and "Tea for Two"

And then you cheer

Last Sunday night we sang "Till We Meet Again"

Believe it or not, I once did a waltz to that tune

Honest to God

It was at a dance

I was seventeen

And the girl was like

From a magazine

And the lights were low

And I really mean low

I think a couple of my friends had something to do with that

And I kissed her cheek

As we waltzed away

I remember that

Like it's yesterday

Boy, was she surprised

I can hear her say:

"Joe!"

They drive you home

From round the block

You take your cash

Out of your sock

You fix the bed

You check the lock

You wind the clock

When I retired, a lot of people told me

"Joe, you got your health, you shouldn't have done it"

But I got no regrets

I keep busy, keep traveling

I go to fires every once in a while

That big fire we had on Milwaukee Avenue about three months ago?

I was there

I was surprised the smoke was coming out of there heavy as hell

But you don't see no flame, you know?

Boy, that was some fire