Wig In a Box

On nights like this When the world's a bit amiss And the lights go down across the trailer park I get down, I feel had Feel on the verge of going mad Then it's time to punch the clock I put on some makeup Turn on the tape deck And put the wig back on my head Suddenly I'm Miss Midwest Midnight checkout queen Until I head home And I put myself to bed I look back on where I'm from Look at the woman I've become And the strangest things seem suddenly routine I look up from my Vermouth on the rocks The gift-wrapped wig still in the box Of towering velveteen I put on some makeup Some LaVern Baker And pull the wig down from the shelf Suddenly I'm Miss Beehive 1963 Until I wake up Then I turn back to myself Some girls they got natural ease They wear it any way they please With their French flip curls and perfumed magazines Wear it up, let it down This is the best way that I've found To be the best you've ever seen I put on some makeup Turn on the eight-track I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf Suddenly I'm Miss Farrah Fawcett from TV Until I wake up And I turn back to myself Shag, bi-level bob, Dorothy Hamill do Sausage curl, chicken wings, it's all because of you With your blow dried, feather back, Toni Home wave do Flip, fro, frizz, flop, it's all because of you It's all because of you, it's all because of you Okay, everybody Put on some makeup Turn on the eight-track I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf Suddenly I'm this punk rock star of stage and screen And I ain't never I'm never turning back