Shit I Used To Do (feat. MonoNeon)

Forty something years old, can't believe I got here

so many reasons why I should be fuckin not here

so many memories, most of 'em not clear

so many nights drunk driving went and got beer

at 1:55 tryna race against the clock

running stop signs doing 80 down the block

I probably should be paralyzed, dead, or in jail

the fact I'm free and walking is a head vs. a tail

I shoulda seized opportunities that i squandered

shoulda been focused instead my mind wandered

depressed and aloof is what the booze made me

suicidal thoughts in my mind they would plague me

I'm glad I lasted long enough to change my ways

lotta people I knew they can't say that phrase

I walked on a tight rope as best as I could

now I'm good

fuck, I jinxed it... knock on wood

uh

all the shit I used to do

can't believe I made it through

all the things I used to say

I'd never say that shit today

I'm glad I'm a musician

not a politician

so I can say I'm sorry without everybody bitchin

some of my old lyrics, I be cringing while I'm listening

wondering why the shit is so damn misogynistic

calling women bitches like a million times a minute

makes me not wanna hear the rest and just skip it

maybe it'd be different if I was actually pimpin'

but I wasn't I was sitting at my house alone drinkin'

words that would slander other peoples' way of living

an old idiotic homophobic way of thinking

a weak fella tryna portray a strong image

a mask of masculinity to hide who the true bitch is

when people seek forgiveness it don't make me upset

i said some shit this morning i already regret

there's nothing set in stone but a stone

I don't say "I've stuck to my guns" I say "I've learned and I've grown"

all the shit I used to do

can't believe I made it through

all the things I used to say

I'd never say that shit today

play some funky shit I gotta urinate

my life will be ending soon

they say your body is a temple, mine's the temple of impending doom

my back, my knees, but mostly my shoulder

they all fall apart and go to shit as i get older

I used to skateboard and my mind plays tricks on me

I skateboard now and think i still got the tricks in me

muscle memory i see it so vividly

I can do it mentally, but can't do it physically

I used to agile, now I'm fragile

went from athletic to decrepit and pathetic

I used to be free and wild, soon I'll be senile

at the senior citizens' center trying to freestyle

spitting on the nurse while I'm sittin' on a bedpan

telling her "you know lady I was once signed to Def Jam"

tumors abound when I get my head scanned

then, I'm a dead man

damn

All the shit I used to do

can't believe I made it through

all the things I used to say

I'd never say that shit today

Aw shit