Push It Down

Smile when they ask if I’m alright

Mastered the art of shutting off the light

Stack it up behind my teeth

Pretend I’m not about to sink beneath

It rises in my throat like fire

But I swallow every spark, every wire

Push it down, lock the door

Ignore the flood beneath the floor

Keep it quiet, keep it neat

Till I explode and bleed on every beat

Push it down—

That’s how I stay on my feet

(Down... down... down...)

Every heartbeat's a retreat

Taught myself how not to feel

Make pain polite, make sadness sealed

Buried deep in silent rooms

Where joy and rage decay in tombs

The pressure hisses like a train

But I smile and say, “I’m fine again”

Push it down, lock the door

Ignore the flood beneath the floor

Keep it quiet, keep it neat

Till I explode and bleed on every beat

Push it down—

That’s how I stay on my feet

(Down... down... down...)

I wear this weight like it’s discreet

I make it look easy

I make it look clean

But under the skin,

I’m one scream from obscene

I’m ticking—I’m slipping—

Can’t outrun the splitting

Used to dream of breaking free

But the silence became home to me

Numb is safer, numb is peace

But even numbness has its leash

Hear it cracking in my chest

A warning siren in unrest

Push it down, lock the door

Ignore the flood beneath the floor

Keep it quiet, keep it neat

Till I explode and bleed on every beat

Push it down—

That’s how I stay on my feet

(Down... down... down...)

Even steel hearts start to leak

Don’t speak, don’t feel, don’t drown—

JUST PUSH IT DOWN—

Push it down, lock the door

Ignore the flood beneath the floor

Keep it quiet, keep it neat

Till I explode and bleed on every beat

Push it down—

That’s how I stay on my feet

(Down... down... down...)

It echoes in me

It echoes in me