Don't Say Yes Until I Finish Talking

Gentlemen

Take a memo

Today the trades are all aglow

With grosses for our Miss Monroe

The things those vermin mustn't know

Is what she puts us through

She makes directors wait all day

One line per hour's all she'll say

And still, she thinks we're gonna pay

She needs a talking to

Tomatoes like her must be put in their place

If she don't shape up soon, she'll soon be walking

'Cause the buck stops with me

Yes, you're right, we agree

Uh, don't say "yes" until I finish talking

She's got them all tied up in knots

Makes each producer faint and plotz

She thinks she's queen and calls the shots

As she sits on her throne

She needs to learn she's only skin

The next girl's waiting for a spin

I made a star of Rin Tin Tin

And paid him with a bone

Tomatoes like her, well, they're easy to find

We throw them out as soon as they start squawking

So, get me some younger dish

We concur, as you wish

Hey, don't say "yes" until I finish talking

And while you've got me on a roll

Let's find a role for Nat King Cole

Tell Mankiewicz his script is trite

A little lower, to the right

I think that Brando is miscast

That television just won't last

That I'm the king of Hollywood

All hail the king

Oh, that feels good

Which brings me back to that dumb blonde

To her demands, I now respond

Some buy your act, but I'm not conned

You better fall in line

You're two bazooms and nuts to boot

I'll keep you in a bathing suit

When you stop bringing in the loot

We'll go back to the vine

Tomatoes like you, they all whither and die

My powers, though, will never be diminished

So don't bring me to my boiling point

You're just a broad, I own the joint

I'm in control, you're just a face

Allow me to cut to the chase

I'll make another movie star

Can someone light my damn cigar?

And then say "yes"

'Cause yes, men

I'm finished

Yes