Subgenius

Repent! Quit your Job! Slack Off! The world ends tomorrow And you may die! Well, probably not But whatever you do, keep reading Are we controlled by secret forces? Are alien space monsters Bringing a startling new world? Do people think you're strange? Do you? Then you may be on the right track Unpredictables are not alone And possess amazing hidden powers of their own Are you abnormal? Then you are probably Better than most people Yes, your kind shall triumph A spazz-church of macho irony Offers new hope for men and women of America! This is the original time control program That has helped thousands To fear no longer the stark fist of removal Become physically attractive overnight Now you, too, can speak to benevolent aliens At the alter of X-ist contact Evaluate the so-called accidents And coincidences in your timestream Perform long, complicated rites of initiation And rituals of communication Accullate yourself to the church Where you will be isolated Given a new diet, a new set of habits And an altered label and appearance Follow your follies and compulsions And become rich like us Explore the zen of stupidity, make waste Find out who your personal saviors may be And who are the false prophets in your life Yes, you may be the subgenius Master of the stoogley arts Perform the salute! Perform the salute! The most no way new wage religion of them all Brain-trust of our species Have intercourse with a beautiful live girl This is a certified religion of scorn and vengeance Directed at all of them The enemy of us outsiders It is self-help through scoffing and blaspheming Frenzied fornication And the tumpting of graven images The church provides answers and miracles In the service of sureavolution This religion Devised by precise mathematical formulae Is weirder than the most obscure UFO Atlantis cults Is invaluable to all superior renegades who, at any time Are justifiably on the edge of insanity And can only be made whole By developing a seventh sense of bludgeon humor Ignore this Fnord The term Subgenius is used Because it is the most mironic description possible You fool To practice and preach the same things is utter madness Sometimes communication must be made More difficult and irritating than necessary In order to convey Certain dangerous complexities The knowledge must not fall Into the wrong hands Science does not remove The terror of the gods The Subgenius must have slack