A Thousand Times

I was convinced that the reason I lost you

Didn't have anything to do with me

But after all of this I have to find out you're living free, unsecretly

How did you decide that for you it's fine, it's so fucking casual 

If I wasn't still choking on your lies, it would almost be laughable

Who knew

Who knew

Who got to hear all the words that you couldn't say

Who got to hold your hand, wipe the tears from your face

Who gets to have your kiss without having to hide

Because it could've been me, yeah, we could've tried

I'd lose everything for you a thousand times 

I was convinced when you held me

Thought it was everything

And after all of this I do life without you next to me

Why can’t you see

That you were never right

Told me you just need some time

Then watched you leave

Yeah and I’m just still so in love

Maybe one day we’ll need to see if you’re missing me

Who got to hear all the words that you couldn't say

Who got to hold your hand, wipe the tears from your face

Who gets to have your kiss without having to hide

Because it could've been me, yeah, we could've tried

I'd lose everything for you a thousand times

Thread by thread I'm unraveling everything

That I once thought was a part of me intrinsically 

Road by road I am distancing desperately

But there you are always one step ahead of me

Who knew

Who knew

Who got to hear all the words that you couldn't say

Who got to hold your hand, wipe the tears from your face

Who gets to have your kiss without having to hide

Cause we could've tried

You got to catch just a glimpse, but you threw it away

You got to have all of me, but couldn't carry the weight

Who gets all of your love without living the lie 

Because it should've been me, yeah, we should've tried

I'd lose everything for you a thousand times