Whatever It Takes

I always walked a lonely road, I always felt Yeah, uh, uh, yeah I always walked a lonely road, I always had friends But felt like the kid that no one knows I like to reminisce on life like I'm fully grown There were times when the studio felt like my only home If you look at my accomplishments, you might think it means something Imagine getting everything you want but feeling nothing Used to give advice to people, calling them deep discussions Consumed by my ego, now I'm dealing with repercussions Yeah, uh, I'm in a transition, my plan's different I'm walking through a spiritual transmission I used to credit all of my success to my ambition I'm learning about humility, fame never satisfied The hunger that's instilled in me, now I get to experience love I can really see, writing verses every day is just another drill to me And I said, baby I've been trying my best to just stay patient I feel so far away, but I'm still chasing It's right there, so darling, don't be scared I've gotta get on my own way I'll always do whatever it takes And I'm never letting up again I don't deal with serpents anymore, I've had enough of them The ball is in my hands and I ain't thinking about me fumbling Last couple years of my life were truly humbling I put on a front to the public but I was struggling Cause I went from doing tours to vacuuming floors I figured I get a job cause I just wasn't sure I used it as an excuse cause I was scared to record What would they say about me if they knew my reality? I act like I'm confident, but in all actuality There's many insecurities I'm battling And one of them I find particularly challenging Is my fear of embarrassment Cause when I was diagnosed, I felt like an experiment Trying different medications, seeing different therapists And when I saw success in my life, was feeling glamorous That led to braggadocio and that filled me up with arrogance And now that I'm aware of this I feel like a fool It makes me think about the times when I was in school And I would make fun of others just so I could feel cool But all of those insults said more about me than it did about them I wouldn't say that it was hard for me to make friends But if you asked me if I kept them I would say it depends And I said baby I've been trying my best to just stay patient I feel so far away, but I'm still chasing It's right there, so darling don't be scared I gotta get on my own way I'll always do whatever it takes And I don't know if this counts as making amends But for the sake of this verse, I'll pretend like it does I'll drop it on the internet and they'll show me love But deep down, I know I have a right to be judged I just pray that I can change for my family's sake It's not healthy to hold on to mistakes If I never got this off my chest, I'd probably break I'll always do whatever it takes