if i could see

If I could see, I’d like to see

summer storms in kodachrome,

timeless as my favorite song.

If I could see then I would see you.

I’d watch you spin all sunbleached,

blue dress and decollete,

all the futures we could chase -

If I could see, I’d like to see

You.

Make me a sheep and I’ll be yours.

I’d flock to the fields that goodness moored

if you’d take the leap of faith before me

because I can’t

and I won’t pretend anymore.

If I could be anything, I’d be water on the warmest day,

touch the shore and pull away.

At every tide change I will chase you.

And we will live in memories

of perfect days that we would waste -

I tried to make you take a shape.

You left with purpose.

I can’t change you.

I’ll take it all back,

the grief, the hope,

trains on train tracks, and leaves that grow,

all you can’t see, all that I won’t show -

Why is it to be loved you have to be known?

This is not the same world. It’s not the one that I grew up in,

and you’re not who I fell in love with,

and I’m not who you fell in love with.

Pull out my eyes there is no more to see.

A flicker of love, an earth that’s scorched.

A bright red balloon - you held my cord,

opened a window,

and let go.