Paper Weight

Ayo yeah

Ayo yo yo yo yo

Check yo

This is the one right here

Okay, look, ayo

I think I'm ready to start lying again

Cause the happier I am, it's more easy to pretend

Only reasons to give in is laziness and comfort

Every day I'm dying, knowing nothing having come from it

I wanted love 'til I realized it wont cure it

And I don't even really care about my own music

I'm letting pleasures interfere with the growth movements

I broke another mirror, feeling so stupid

Pacing round my room like a post-human

I'm treating my debut like it's posthumous

And speaking of excuses- I spoke fluent

To all the people that I knew saying "Don't do it!"

The roof of my mouth burns when I lie

That's a small price to pay for a perfect disguise

There's more red flags than the Forth of July

And when they ask how I'm feeling, I just tell 'em "I'm fine"

I isolate myself again

I missed some more connections cause I never let them in

And I'm afraid to make amends

Cause the person I am now is not the same I was then

And now family's got me practicing the Fielder method

They think they know what's best for me, and I don't feel like stressing

I've mastered saying nothing just to sound supportive

I think my art is just a vessel for my self importance

I look around, check if anyone can see my mess

My foot's down as I'm tryna beat the GPS

I like to play these little games to defeat the stress

Body sending signals to my brain that I need some rest

Pssh, yo, rest from what?

Twenty five years, no diamonds in the rough

So much dirt under my nails tryna climb outta this rut

And the voice that's in my head says I'll never be enough

It ain't a trick if you don't fall for it twice

I hate when happy people give me unwelcome advice

Like, "Have you tried just putting on a smile?"

"Maybe go for a walk or just drink a little water"

Yeah, well I've been drowning in my sorrows alright

And I might just take my brain out and leave it in some rice overnight

I'm eating all my feelings, need to pipe down

These last years, think I gained 25 pounds

But good news, your family heard your cries for help

Now you got a real fancy muzzle you can tie yourself

It's no use to open doors to my private hell

I think they'd all like me more if I was someone else

Cause all I've ever done in life is take up space

I'm like the world's best excuse for a paperweight

It's sold- prepackaged and shrink wrapped with abandonment

I'm growing in detachment I don't think that I can handle it