I'll Name This Song Later

I'll name this song later, just tryna clear out my mind

Looking back at my life and how it feels so sublime

Find myself in front of another each mountain I climb

I barely talk to my mother and she not doing fine

Struggling with what and what not to do with my time

She asks me if I love her and I find myself lying

But I know that if I tell her she will find herself crying

And just because it's my fault I will find myself dying

I know that shit don't make no sense but bear with me; I'm trying

Feel like I've climbed a bull when trying to control my mind

But I've gotten good; I haven't fallen off in some time

Quit drinking cause I thought that it'd help me feel fine

But that's the furthest from the truth; I think I'm fucked by design

I'll probably do the right thing when they make it a crime

Before they dim my light, I'm just here tryna shine

Been tryna wrong my rights, one at a time

And hope that my victims are forgetful as I am

Or that they're willing to give forgiving a try

But I wouldn't bet my life on it or else I would die

We're living in some times where the truth is a lie

I can't shake the feeling someday soon I'ma die

More than likely by the demon I've trapped deep inside

Faking my emotions for the people outside

I've moved so far from the truth that I'm living a lie

I'm breaking up with myself for the despair that I felt

For all the times you neglected me to please someone else

Too busy caring for others, forgot to care for yourself

That's why you hate what you see when you stare at yourself

You put your brain in the freezer and your heart on the shelf

Brain too numb to feel you were harming yourself

Heart out in the open trying to murder itself

Ain't been about you in so long you never heard of yourself

I deserve better if I say so myself

Don't deserve to be someone who wants to be someone else

You disregard the way that you've been making me feel

Hiding your wounds only makes them take longer to heal

You're Mr. Glass dressed up as the man of steel

Instagram telling a story that ain't even real

Too afraid your real life doesn't have much appeal

You ain't got music money, you work in the tech field

I just exposed your ass, tell me how does it feel

Let's see if they stick around, now that the onion has peeled

I'm breaking up with you because I'm trying to find peace

Convincing others I'm fine is a memorized speech

Knowing you're far from it, just lying out your teeth

I'm leaving you cause I'm tired of you making me weak

I'm leaving you cause you left me out for dead in the street

While you was all cozy under someone else's sheet