It Ends With Me

I used to blame it all on you

Now I blame myself

For trying to hold on

So it won't go to hell

I think I'm a fixer

Tryna paint a perfect picture

The one I think you need

I blame it all on me

I wanted you to be happy

Guess I wanted it too badly

Oh I always put you first

So you didn't have to hurt

But it didn't make me happy

I'm always 10 years old tryna keep the peace

It didn't start with you I just hit repeat

But it ends with me

I thought love was gonna rescue

Was it love or just familiar?

I thought I knew you when I met you

I was just looking in the mirror

I wanted you to be happy

Guess I wanted it too badly

Oh I always put you first

So you didn't have to hurt

But it didn't make me happy

I'm always 10 years old tryna keep the peace

Thinking fighting's better than to leave

Crying my mom's tears, living my dad's dreams

It didn't start with them I just repeat

But it ends with me

Not hating myself for another minute

It was broken before I could fix it

It feels empty but there's nothing missing

This is my life and I gotta live it

Cause I'm not ten years old tryna keep the peace

Got my own tears to cry, and dreams to dream

And I would rather lose you than lose me

Cause it didn't start with me I just hit repeat