What I Fear The Most

I'm in my head so much, I really can't decipher What I feel from what's real, and what I should hide from Yeah, I'm on one again Yeah, I drop my defense Get my hopes up, but I'm just so tired, I mean it I don't really see it as you do With this dark cloud that falls down restricting my view It's a nuisance But is the noose an improvement These invasive thoughts have me feeling so stupid It's useless I pick myself apart like they do And hold myself to standards I know I can't make do I never let them see the weakness that's inside of me 'Cause there's some pride to me. I know it to stay true If they only knew the demons that I face When I'm in another world that's so difficult to place I could live at my own pace and escape the monotony And all the negativity that fills a part of me Tell me, why am I not enough All these voices up in my mind got me so messed up When I make a mistake, I can never let it go When I look at my face, I see what I fear the most Tell me, why am I not enough for myself And I struggle with it daily Suffer with these preconceptions that'll only drive me crazy No, you can't save me, I can only save myself Never one who's known to back down or ever ask for help Not a selfish progression, just held by depression Enveloped by self-deprecation, pathetic And, though I said it, I just hope I come around I build myself up just to break myself down But I know the way To find the pieces And through those mistakes That left me bleeding I won't throw away What I've been seeking So long as I'm still breathing, it's clear Tell me, why am I not enough All these voices up in my mind got me so messed up When I make a mistake, I can never let it go When I look at my face, I see what I fear the most Tell me, why am I not enough for myself For myself I'm worth so much more than I give myself credit for My anxiety pushes me forward My depression holds me back I'm gonna lose my life If I don't get my mind on track Why am I not enough Why am I not enough Why am I not enough Why am I not enough I'll only be enough For myself when I realize that I always was When I make a mistake, I will learn to let go When I look at my face, I will let myself know That I've always been enough For myself The answer is love for myself The answer is love for myself The answer is love for myself