No Exit (Bill Cipher Version)

So the good news first, it's gonna get weird

Don't act so surprised, you're the reason I appeared

I've been trapped in a dreamscape, it feels like forever

Keep missing my shots, but his aim's getting better, ha-ha

Buckle up, kid, open your mind

Take a look in every corner, see what I can find

Let's make an agreement, forget the semantics

Now let me get up to some dream demon antics (My, my!)

Welcome to a world full of horrors

Where anything can happen, just imagine if you hadn't had to

Happen on the journal that you opened up, you're such a stupid—

Wait, what'd I say? Uh, forget you heard that

I'm not great with names, I'll just stick to shapes

Shooting Star, Pine Tree, Question Mark, Six-Fingered—

Wait, you don't know him? I won't give it away

Now, just shake my hand and watch your whole world slip away

An equilateral deceiver in charge of your mind

You're better off if you don't try to fight it

Deep in your brain, just like a fever, you're in quite the bind

You'd still be safe had he not been invited

Say goodbye to the real world, my little shooting star

Got a front row seat to the carnival, now watch things get bizarre

There's nothin' but confusion, reality's an illusion

Say the word and you're mine, shake my hand, let me into your mind

The name's Bill, and it's time to pay up

Now I've got another universe of fools to corrupt

I'm made of pure energy! Chaos incarnate!

Gotten so close to succeeding, but darn it

He foiled my plans, now he's on an "Adventure"

If Oregon's famous inventor is out of commission, I'll have to come up with another

Assistant? Or maybe his brother

I need to find somebody dumb (How 'bout me?)

That'll work, you're adorable, anyway (Widdle me?)

Now reality is hanging on the tiniest of threads

You can say your final words before you give up all hope

The cacophony is terminally maddening

Imagine all the pandemonium if you just hand me that globe

Thank you

Say goodbye to the real world, my little shooting star

Got a front row seat to the carnival, now watch things get bizarre

There's nothin' but confusion, reality's an illusion

Say the word and you're mine, shake my hand, let me into your mind

You're looking for a way out of here

You're talkin' to the essence of weird

A billion years in the void gets annoying, my dear

This door was meant to be opened

Surrender, give up hope

Get the show underway, try to smile while you still have a face

We welcome you to Weirdmageddon, the end of the world

At least the end of all you know and love

An evolutional progression, existence unfurled

We're everything that your nightmares are made of

Is it starting to sink in? There's no chance of winning

Your feeble attempt at defending your planet is pitiful

See my unstoppable forces?

Now I've got some children to make into corpses (Well, well!)

Everything I seen, I'm takin', make it strange, and

Never, ever gonna let the pain end

Awakened somethin' when you let the rift break

Get a smile on your face or I'm gonna rearrange it

The Euclidean Gideon's given admission to lettin' in another dimension

I mightn't have mentioned that other little

Card in my hand until it began

You can't understand triangular plans, now you're under command

You're a prisoner! Plaything! A souvenir!

Don't you know I've been waiting a trillion years?

So give up the fight, say goodbye to your friends

And let's start the party that never ends

So welcome to the end of this parody deranged

Maybe next time, Caine'll sing "Let's Get Weird", wait, wait, wait! I want a key change!

Say goodbye to the real world, my little shooting star

Got a front row seat to the carnival, now watch things get bizarre

There's nothin' but confusion, reality's an illusion

Say the word and you're mine, shake my hand, let me into your mind

A-ha-ha-ha! Finally, after all these years

Wait, what are you doing with the, no—