How I Saved Roosevelt

That was President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt Ladies and gentlemen Speaking to a crowd of supporters Here at Miami's beautiful Bayfront Park A group of notables are pressing in around The President-elect's car There's Mayor Anton Cermak of Chicago and- There's been a shot! I can't see! Wait! Mister Roosevelt is waving He's alright But Mayor Cermak has been hit The police have somebody in custody An immigrant Giuseppe Zangara We take you now to a group of eyewitnesses Who will tell us what they saw We're crowded up close And I see this guy He's squeezing by I catch his eye I say to him "Where do you think you're trying to go, boy? Whoa, boy" I say, "listen, you runt You're not pulling that stunt No gentleman pushes their way to the front" I say, "move to the back" Which he does, with a grunt Which is how I saved Roosevelt Then- well, I'm in my seat I get up to clap I feel this tap I turn, this sap He says he can't see I say, "find a lap And go sit on it" Which is how I saved- Then he started to swear And he climbed on a chair He was aiming a gun I was standing right there So I push it as hard as I could in the air Which is how I saved Roosevelt Lucky I was there That's why he was standing back too far That's why when he aimed he missed the car Just lucky I was there Or we'd have been left bereft of FDR You think that I scared? No scared You think that I care? No care I look at the world No good No fair Nowhere When I am a boy, no school I work in a ditch, no chance The smart and the rich ride by Don't give no glance Ever since then because of them! I have the sickness in the stomach Which is the way I make my idea To go out and kill Roosevelt First I was figure I kill Hoover I get even for the stomach Only Hoover up in Washington Is wintertime in Washington Too cold for the stomach in Washington I go down to Miami, kill Roosevelt No laugh No funny Men with the money They control everything Roosevelt, Hoover No make no difference You think I care who I kill? I no care who I kill Long as it's king! The crowd's breaking up When I hear these shots And I mean lots I though I'd plotz I spotted him- My stomach was tied in knots So I barreled- Harold! No, what happened was this: He was blowing a kiss (she means Roosevelt) I was saying to Harold "This weather is bliss!" And to think that we might have missed Seeing him miss Lucky we were there! It was a historical event Worth every penny that we spent Just lucky we were there To think if I'd let him get up closer- I saw right away he was insane Oh, this is my husband We're from Maine He told me to sit But I said, "no, sir!" It made our vacation a real success Are you with the press? Yes Oh, God, I'm a mess Some left-wing foreigner That's my guess (No!) And wasn't the band just fantastic? (no left) Oh! You think I am left? Ha! No left No right No anything Only American Zangara have nothing No luck No girl Zangara no smart No school But Zangara no foreign tool Zangara American American nothing! And why there no photographers? For Zangara no photographers Only capitalists get photographers No right! (Lucky I-) No fair (was there) Nowhere So what? (I'm on the front page, is that bizarre?) No sorry (and all of those pictures like a star) And soon no Zangara (just lucky I was there!) We might have been left Pull switch! Bereft of F- Who cares? No care no more (D!) No! (R!)