Thunder & Lightning

When I was just a young man I was wandering in the rain Got struck by lightning in the junk Fell to the ground in pain But when I woke the next morning I witnessed something odd My nuts were supercharged With glowing power from the gods They were Thunder and lightning Globes of massive strength and size Thunder and lightning Power spheres from beyond the skies Orbs of might, made of radiant light Thunder and lightning I now had a new calling I was destined to fight crime No man could escape the justice My meaty clackers could provide So I bought them a little unitard And found them a tiny cape Then ran to the the city's toughest gang And screamed, "There's no escape!" From the wrath of Thunder and lightning Jewels that fell from an angel's crown Thunder and lightning Rounded junk that'll take you down Stones of war, tiny hammers of Thor Thunder and lightning One with the power to electrify One with the strength to smash First you hear that rumble baby And then you see the flash My loins are filled like darkened clouds Evil has no chance All shall tremble before the storm That gathers in my pants Turns out being struck by lighting Doesn't give you any powers They caved my head in with a pipe And beat me for several hours But as I lay there half-conscious With my nuts exposed to air I looked up to the blackened sky And said an ancient prayer Lord, if you're there Please infuse my nuts with the power of a thousand suns Holy shit, you're real? Let there be Thunder and lightning Acorns shot from the tree of life Thunder and lightning High voltage nugs lighting up the night Mighty balls gifted from Odin's halls Thunder and lightning Suck 'em