The Last Demon (feat. NewMessage & Novakei)

Before I tell you what happened know I was really young

Stuck in a circle of darkness and was the only one

And everything catches up to you in this painful life

Even things that you thought that you could leave behind

My story's full of embarrassment but I have to tell it

It eats my mind all the time now lets get real specific

 

It's something I need to tell you get this off of my chest

I dated this girl for 6 years that I'd never met

It makes me angry reality is hitting me hard

I can't believe that I put up with it so fucking long

We met online and I instantly was attracted,

Skeptical in my mind at the time but she had the package

A **** was so young and naïve I never was confident

I couldn't even believe that she was talking to me

 

And everything had checked out so many friends and family

You had a cousin who lived here we'd even met already

And as we commented back and forth, it was Facebook

I kept my distance tried my best not to stare and look

You see I never been good with women, even though I'm attractive

My lack of confidence strong emotions had held me captive

They love to stare at me like a woman working at hooters

Then disappear reinforcing thoughts I'm probably a loser,

But anyway it all started right after high school

I entered college with all smiles I'm feeling cool

 

We had discussed meeting up, I butt dialed her phone

But I had doubts that this girl was real left it alone

I told her no and continued to live I'm out of sight

Followed her social media keeping up with her life

Then out of nowhere I started talking with her again

I told her that I had to just to move away from this shit

I hated MD with dreams of being this rap artist

She told me that Atlanta's a good place to get started

It was crazy she often helped me figure shit out

Always encouraged me had me questioning all my doubts

And my emotions got carried away and I couldn't see

What was to come had me silent for years I couldn't speak

And there was always an excuse often seeming legit

You told bout your chronic illnesses always was sick

Diabetes, lupus, surgeries and epilepsy

I understood what your struggle was I had empathy

Such a beautiful person struck with a damn curse

But at the same time fighting for everything she's worth

 I admired you, looked up to your dedication

Helped me become a better man through my own tribulations

It was all disguised but I felt nothing was wrong

I tried to webcam you but you said it was broken lost

You didn't have the money to fix it so I let it go

Expecting that one-day you would finally show

 

You always sent these pics really had me in awe

You were the most beautiful women that I ever saw and

As I got to know you more it became apparent

That you were different than most it was something to cherish

My first year of college was epic man I had some fun

I barely figure out how to get all my work done

You really came into my life in that 2nd semester

I learned that you were an academic and let it fester

I often thought about my how I performed inside of class

And told myself that I had to do more than simply pass

The motivation was clear I had something to prove

Got me to take it serious something I never do

You studied in New York at the time and was kinda close

A 3 hour drive in a car 4 at the most

I lived in Baltimore and had homies over at Towson

And every weekend I was over there drinking and wildin

You called me one day I was drunk laying out in the hall

Your voice had got me so excited I started to talk

I told you how much you mattered to me more than a friend

We ended up talking staying up until it's 7am

Then I remember I got in trouble for possession

Illegal drugs in my pocket such an idiot lesson

At 20 years old I found myself banded for life

I told you what happened you ensured it would be all right

That next semester everything had started to change

I tried to meet you twice something always go in the way

You said you had an accident when trynna visit it's fine

But then you said you got sick for like the 11th time

It sounded funny but I was young thought nothing of it

We started dating, I never told people in public

Something inside me was embarrassed, down to the core

Clung onto something I couldn't see I was insecure

My homies knew about her, were always asking me questions

I never had an answer, a mysterious message

Eventually I stopped talking about her to all my friends

My family too they were skeptical in the end

And when I finally got the courage to do something about it

Something drastic would happen to put be back inside it

And during our first year I decided to transfer

my grades were good enough to get me outside of this chapter

 

I applied to several schools, I gotta leave,

My home has got me falling outside of my sanity

A couple weeks went by I start to check the mail

My mother calls me inside there's no way in hell

I threw an application out to new york on a whim

The letter read congratulations you've been accepted in

I told you the news you got excited with me in fact

You were so proud of my ambition internal tact

We talked about all the things you wanted to show me

The city never sleeps and I promise you won't get lonely

know that when you finally arrive everything is good

Make sure you to pray to god everyday as you know you should

A couple days went by something inside switched

You told me that New York couldn't be a place to commit

You had a history there you seemed really distraught

As if I'd find out something and you ain't want to get caught

I thought that sounded funny but I trusted you anyway

And by this time I was too infatuated mentally

Then I got another note from atlanta saying that I'm accepted

You got the same notice too what a wonderful blessing

We bot agreed that Atlanta would be our home

I'd move in which some family and you'd be out on your own

This story takes a turn for the worst I can't explain

I ran all over campus still looking for that face

 

You never showed and thats something I have to live with

You even claimed to be at my school got me to listen

I then moved to Atlanta was hoping to see you there

Searched all over campus, found nothing but air

After a day of classes you texted me saying hey

I was so damn excited to see you out there today

I stood outside the courtyard and saw you waiting off in the distance

To me you seemed more into yourself and all of these bitches

You were being so extra I decided to wait

Watch you from afar until I saw you had walked away

I lost my temper-started texting her crazily

"Like how the fuck could you watch me and not say anything

And how the fuck could you know me for all this time

Tell me you fucking love me and this is what you decide?

And how the fuck did you even know what was going on

Your lucky all I did was just talk and left her alone

It's been over a year I have yet to see you appear

I changed my fucking life for you as I burst into tears

 

But she had this was of manipulation

Flipped it on me said I'm at fault for the situation

This was one thing that was common I'm sorry to I

I wish the older me could have been there for you to fight

Been there every time she backed out of meetings with you

Been there every time you searched never to find the truth

Been there ever time you tried to walk away

Until she manipulates you to think you made the mistake

 

At the end of the day, I can only blame myself

I made the choice to put up with this without any help

I sacrificed my own mental health driven to rage

And ever since it happened I don't know how to turn the page

As I sit here and wonder were you a real girl

Was I the victim of this cruel social media world?

Regardless of it I need to figure it out

There's something else about it I can't wrap my head around

I have a friend who reminds me of her 100%

Everything they do is identical now let me vent

They both exemplify the same tone in their voice

Similar personalities mannerisms and joy

I never got a call from the girl when she was around

But every time we separate shed be calling I'm thinking how

 

Suspicious start to rise and I'm wondering what the fuck

Is this a sign from god because enough is enough

I spoke to both of on the daily I get confused

Bring it up and both of them start loosing their cool

I never understood what was happing where do I go

She'd often call me out on shit only the other knows

I drive myself crazy at the thought of it all

So much so I find it real hard to remain calm

Anxiety is crazy I'm left with a time gap

6 years are now gone and I cant ever get them back

Whoever you are music is really all I have

I hope you hear this so we can talk about it maybe laugh

I only wish I knew what was real hidden in speech

and maybe then I could finally rest in peace