Hey Marge could you grab me a puppy?
Well Kristi shot a puppy yes she shot a puppy dead
Kristi shot a puppy in it's little puppy head
Kristi shot a puppy and she wants us all to know
Shot a frisky little puppy cause that's just how Kristi go
In South Dakota, in South Dakota
If you ever got a bother or a beef with anyone
In South Dakota, in South Dakota
You can do just the governor you can fix it with a gun
Ooh, Kristi, South Dakota Snow Queen
Ooh, Kristi, South Dakota Snow Queen
Let me sing of puppy Cricket, young pointer sharp sighted
On the hunt she got excited, when the quarry bird was sighted
In that deep Dakota dell, Cricket raised a little hell
Kristi could not shoot a pheasant, she found that most unpleasant
On the way home Cricket, her excitement still a-tickin'
Ran into the neighbor's yard and she killed herself a chicken
Kristi got so angry, she was hollerin' and hootin'
Said a South Dakota Snow Queen solves a problem with some shootin'
Her eye all a-twinkling she said "Cricket come with me
I know this little gravel pit you really oughta see"
Pop pop! Kristi shot twice, the first one flew wide
But the second bullet found its mark and little Cricket died
Pop pop! Blood spattered Kristi's smile grew and grew
And I shit you not, Kristi shot a goat too!
What?
Oh yeah
That's my beautiful plastic Snow Queen
I would follow her right off a cliff
Well Kristi shot a puppy yes she shot a puppy dead
Kristi shot a puppy in it's little puppy head
Kristi shot a puppy and she wants us all to know
Shot a frisky little puppy cause that's just how Kristi go
Ooh, Kristi, South Dakota Snow Queen
Ooh, Kristi, South Dakota Snow Queen
This story's not a fable, though I really wish it was
Kristi told it for attention, and it sure did make a buzz
I know sometimes in MAGA nation, there might be some fabrication
But the Cricket murder's true, cause that's just how Kristi do
In South Dakota, in South Dakota
If you ever got a bother or a beef with anyone
In South Dakota, in South Dakota
You can do just the governor you can fix it with a gun
It was not a pleasant job, but it had to be done
