The Cheaters Cheated: III. The Friar and the Nun

Tune: The Friar and the Nun

Filcher and Nim hold the glass up to the light, to attract Wat

Filch: The rainbow never knew

Such colours as are here

Nim: Here’s purple, green and blew—

Wat: Zooks, what have they got there?

Good morrow Master, what d’ye cal’t?

Filch: Good morrow, good man Clot!

Wat: Nay vaith, vine gallant, there y’are out—

My neame is honest Wat.

Filch: I’le shew thee such a sight that

Thou ne’re saw’st, honest Wat,

Neither by day nor night yet.

Wat: Yvaith ch’ud laugh at that!

Filch: Here, take this glass into thy hand

And hold it to thy eyes,

Thou there shalt see more colours than

A dyer can devise.

Wat: I cannot zee a colour yet,

Nim: Thou dost not hold it high,

Wat: Che hav’t, che hav’t, che’ve got it now!

Nim: (steals Wat’s purse) I’faith, and so have I!

Wat: Here’s black and blew and gray and green,

And orange-tauny, white;

And now ich ave lost all again …

Filch: (steals Wat’s other purse) In troth y’are in the right!

Now prethe tell me, honest Wat

How do’st thou like my glass?

Wat: It is the vittest veat, yvaith,

That e’re was brought to pass

And if that thou wilt spare it

Chill give thee money down.

Filch: I will have nothing for it

Wat: Chill give thee half-a-crown

Yvaith, cham very willing …

Nim: You shall not do it now—

Wat: To give to thee vour zhilling …

Filch: ’Tis more than you can do!

Nim: Farewell good Wat, thou shalt not pay

Wat: Good morrow Gentlemen;

Chill get me gone vor vear that they

Zhould get my glass agen! Wat exit