Feeling For Yourself

Ali liked watching the planes fly overhead and the cars driving out over the new bridge

She'd image the strangers who were leaving and how one day she'd be one of them, whatever it took

She went searching for the name written on the lamppost on her estate, the one her mum got angry about, but it's since been painted over and she feels erased and more detached than ever

All the ties that kept her feeling like she belonged

So she went searching for a little connection, but she's tied to the middle classes - the arts, music, parties and passes. She wonders how Grant's doing since his mum died and whether the council let Tony keep his family home

Feeling left behind, feeling for yourself

And the town itself hasn't changed that much - the blokes still tell the women to avoid King Street. But it is and always has been misinformation - just a fear of others taking what they don't have themselves. The sad remain sad, and the desperate become guilty. She never much liked the place. But there was a new found fondness. Safe, familiar, in step, cyclical. But she kind of revoked her spot a long time ago when she thought she was above it

It all started with K. She told Ali her and her dad's plans for skipping town. They'd leave in the night, leave her step mum behind. It felt huge, cinematic, until the newspapers caught up with them. She was living the same life, just in some other hole

Then where was Becca. Her mum told me to go home cause She'd found something, bright white, squeaky clean, on the way home from Coll's. Or so her mum said. There'd be less trouble from the police that way. then they were gone

Whether it was the drugs on the floor, or ditching in the night. The blue lights and questioning just made it seem that much more attractive. A hint of jealousy, urgency, excitement, and as as Ali got older she accepted the sad reality that something bad has to happen for there to be genuine change