I Don't Wanna Be Here (Episodic Memory)

I close my eyes at night

Hope to cancel out the low I'm feeling

In my mind my thoughts are fleeting

In my chest my heart is bleeding

I could never shake the reason why I want to end it all

There is no reason

At least as far as I recall

I had my finger on the trigger, knife in my back

A bullet in my brain, and a cigarette pack

I think I'm clinically insane, I guess that explains what I lack

With all my atoms rearranged; that should put me right on track

I had that tab on my tongue

A little smoke in my lungs

A little drink in my cup

I'm always fucking up, shit

I'm just here to get lit

Burn a bridge, call it quits

Hear that phone ringing, ringing, think that must be your bitch

It's just another night, I'm never sleeping

My demons in sight when peaking

I'll never see the weekend

If I cannot face the lot of them

I'm often off, it seems I'm lost in my thoughts again

Been in my head for hours

Not into this conversation

I seen it all with my powers

It's time for my coronation

Devoid of sensation in a cage of my own making

Innervated, don't mistake it for Satan

I'm eternally hated according to the girls that I've dated

I'ma die sitting right here on my own

Tell my friends back home

That I love 'em but I wont pick up my phone

Yeah

I wont pick up my phone

You know I like it better when you leave my all alone

Tell me who will really listen to my songs

I'm withdrawn, I'm perplexed, you're impressed

I'm just speaking on my regrets

You know I'm waiting on bated breath to see what happens next

It wasn't really cheating, no baby, it was just a text

Looks can be deceiving, misleading, they say that love should be freeing

But maybe that's just the sex