The Beginning of the End

Have you ever woken up and wondered Where you are and why you're naked? You are now listening to Headache I used to take my breakfast off of a mirror Now I just walk around and stare at people in the park You think I care about what's happening to me? Even my demons have demons When I last saw Monica, she told me She never wanted to see or speak to me ever again in her life She doesn't get it, nobody gets it I can't remember the last time I got a good night's sleep If you really think about it, life shouldn't feel this strange If I could just figure out what the old woman wearing That salmon pink snakeskin jacket wants from me I'd feel a whole lot better Doesn't she have a job? Do I have a job? It's not normal to sit outside someone's apartment the whole night long But then again, what is normal? Do you think I'm normal? Say I'm normal Please, for fuck's sake, please say I'm normal I don't know what you want from me I could never do that contemplation shit Someone told me once that if you have more than three major concussions Before the age of seven, you're fucked, I had eight And anyway, I'm not interested in knowing I'm just tired, so tired Something went wrong Something went really wrong a long way back And now I don't know, now I'm just doing this One morning you wake up, and you want to shave your head Because the insects living up there Have started to throw parties they aren't inviting you to And you tell me I'm crazy? I just want to live, I just want to feel something Anything, anything There's so much in the world There's good, bad, mad, sad, ugly, happy But I just love beauty I think about my friends sometimes, their lives, their failures They don't know where I am, I wonder if they miss me I miss their stories, the stuff they leave unfinished The words they leave behind, the good they drag after them And the destruction they create But above all, above All I remember the love I remember sitting on my uncle Mario's knee While he told me about the man he killed in the Embarcadero in August 1999 I remember the girl with pigtails in her hair asking me Why I looked so sad when I was supposed to be feeling happy I remember climbing on a statue in my grandmother's garden While serious guys in suits walked around talking to each other There was a lot of blood around back then A lot of laughter, but a lot of blood too And I mistook laughter for love I forgot the colour where I came from Now my taste is me And sometimes it's a little too sour The streets are so dead How is it so easy to leave this world behind? It feels like the world's a dream Right up until I remember the smell of her hair blowing in the wind You aimed for my eyes But you forgot that the heart is where all the action is This one goes out to all the ghosts I love you