Colin Firth’s First Birthday

Got a new smirk Making much mirth Cutting up my face in the mirror cos I wanna look like Colin Firth I weren't born first Runt of the litter you can roll me in glitter But I'm still a fucking turd Special like an early bird Back to the Ireland People digging up dirt Burn pon fire Sleep and I eat And I'm digging up peat til a man retire Spade, call it a spade Stick it in the ground til I dig my grave More money in the hand watch the paddies get rich Stick us in a corner tell us take our pick Big like mountain Shouting, spouting Ruining the family outing Dash shrapnel coins at the fountain Get my willy out It's a miracle. I'm at the pinnacle now problems are mounting Tell me why the Thomases are doubting Some people just wanna do nothing Me, I wanna do less Churches are worthless without the people inside, all the servants Serves no purpose Silent murmurs resonate loud with a certain nervous ardent fervour Cash make money go further (Give it to me) Man I can save in the Vatican way Got bare cash stashed in the tabernacle anyway Another soul, another lump sum Another stealth tax coming from a healthy income I'm feeling kinda lazy I don't know if I should get up and try life Or stay in bed until the sun retires I'm feeling mildly crazy Blame it on the light I should stay away until the sun retires Answer the dark truth inside of you