Miracle: Pt. 1

My mummy says I'm a miracle!

My daddy says I'm his special little guy!

I am a princess

And I am a prince

Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky!

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier

No one is as handsome, strong as me

It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge

But I'm his little soldier

Hup, two, four, free

My mummy says I'm a miracle

One look at my face, and it's plain to see

Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord

It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier

No one is as bold or tough as me

Has my daddy told ya

One day when I'm older

I can be a soldier

And shoot you in the face?

One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days

It seems that there are millions of these one-in-a-millions these days

Specialness is de rigueur

Above average is average, go figure

Is it some modern miracle of Calculus

That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous?

My mummy says I'm a miracle

One look at my face and it's plain to see

Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord

It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me

My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina

She has never seen a

Prettier barrelina

She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream

But I'm a barrelina

So give me more cake!

Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here

She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers

What a dear!

Honey, look at mummy

Don't put honey on your brother

Smile for mummy! Smile for mother!

I think he blinked

Well, take another!

Have you seen his school report?

He got a C on his report!

What?

We'll have to change his school

The teacher's clearly falling short

He's just delightful

So hilarious

And insightful

Might she be a little brighter than her class?

Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced!

My mummy says I'm a miracle

One look at my face, and it's plain to see

Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord

It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me

My mummy says I'm a miracle

That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball

You can be all cynical

But it's a truth empirical

There's never been a miracle, a miracle as miraculous as me

Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor?

I've got a plane to catch at three

I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa

And Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris

You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood?

Of course I am

I always compete, doctor

And this time, I have a secret weapon

Rudolpho!

He's part Italian, you know

Very supple

Has incredible upper-body strength

I think we should have a talk

So, what is it? What's wrong with me?

Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea?

Gas?

Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully

What do you think might be the cause of this?

Am I? Am I? Look, am I fat?

Mrs. Wormwood, you're pregnant!

What?

You're going to have a baby!

But I've got a baby!

I don't want another one

Isn't there something you can do?

You're nine months pregnant!

Antibiotics, or?

Oh, my good Lord!

What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa

And Ballroom Dancing Championships?