complex (live with strings)

I'm 21, the edge is razor thin Between being numb and feeling everything Good days only serve as relief again Now I'm watching as I waste away my days and then It's a cross dissolve, it's a scene I've played before And the leading role that I thought I'd hold Doesn't listen to me anymore But I'm wearing his boxers I'm being a good wife We won't be together But maybe the next life I need him like water He lives on a landslide I cry in his bathroom He turns off the big light I'm being the cool girl I'm keeping it so tight I carry him home while My friends have a good night I need him like water He thinks that I'm alright I'm not feeling human I think he's a good guy But it's complex It's a complex Triangular, I can see them now Three points at which I let myself down I was just a girl, what's the excuse now? Too regular, this pattern I've Been taking shelter in, reaching new highs When I was 19, I wanted to die Now I just want to kill you But I don't want to paint you the victim And I talk a good game I'd die for just the promise you'd listen But I'm wearing his boxers I'm being a good wife We won't be together But maybe the next life I need him like water He lives on a landslide I cry in his bathroom He turns off the big light I'm being the cool girl I'm keeping it so tight I carry him home while My friends have a good night I need him like water He thinks that I'm alright I'm not feeling human I think he's a good guy But it's complex It's a complex It's a complex I'm a complex