Baconstein

Take a seat

Listen to my story of this magic meat

At my breakfast table I am so naive

'Cause he surprises me

Let me explain

Nine-inch height

Body made of bacon and he's cooked just right

He flexes without breakin' and he likes to hide

In sandwiches of mine

Then he jumps out for the fright

B-B-B-Baconstein

Baconmaster of deception

With his ninja tricks

B-B-B-B-Baconstein

He's little but he's sturdy

Like a stack of bricks

Oh, it's bad you see

Now I'm nervous when I'm smellin' smoky hickory

I even flinch at pictures of a BLT

There's more, you see

His accent seems like

South Kentucky Forest

With boots and jeans he'd be a Bacon Chucky Norris

Martial arts machine

Now he's all up in my scene

B-B-Baconstein

Baconmaster from Kentucky

With his sneaky tricks

B-B-B-B-Baconstein

Leaves me stingin' with his

Greasy helicopter kicks

Oh, he loves judo and karate

Kickboxing and pilates

Watch him work those abs

(Abs!)

Listen up!

They crackle when I pop 'em (Abs!)

Got a perfect six on my middle and bottom (Abs!)

Call me turkey?

Them's fightin' words! (Abs!)

Got the sweetest sound you ever heard

B-B-B-Baconstein

Meaty master of chaotics

With his book of tricks

B-B-B-B-Baconstein

Brags of no antibbiotics

In those grizzly mitts

Baconstein

Smell my sizzle!

You want a slice o' this?

Baconstein

You can't trust a sausage