Whitewashing a Grave

All walls come slow Day by day the mortar dries And parapets of self-righteousness rise Before you know it towering Defenses guard your heart Or so you think Now I can see That trapped inside this thickened skin I can't get out and no one can get in How I long to be possessed But rather than god I'm filled with myself Rather than god I'm filled with myself And I'm scared to admit That I'm still just pretending That I don't have these stains That they'll just fade away And all that I've done To pretend I have love Was just whitewashing a grave Whitewashing a grave Oh what have I become Please break my bones I'd rather have some scars outside Than live within this calloused hide alone I'd rather live in need of God Than live like I've cornered the market on Right and wrong I am not the potter I'm just terra cotta I'm scared to admit That I'm still just pretending That I don't have these stains That they'll just fade away And all that I've done To pretend I have love Was just whitewashing a grave Whitewashing a grave Oh what have I become What have I become I'll weep and I'll wail And just hope that it's real Even my repentance can become a show Cause under my skin I've found vipers within I'll beat my chest cause mercy is my only hope I'll beat my chest cause mercy is my only hope Yeah I'm scared to admit That I'm still just pretending That I don't have these stains That they'll just fade away And all that I've done To pretend I have love Was just whitewashing a grave Whitewashing a grave Oh what have I become