Matty’s Mattresses: From Larvae To Monarch

Now, all shoppers, once again it's your boy, Chuck Foolery

I hope your shopping experience has been as awesome as seeing that orange baked potato being shuffled out of the Oval Office as it was for me

Question

Have you ever wanted to just roll yourself up into a weighted duvet and forget about your shitty day?

If so, go to aisle 12 and peep out our brand new Monarch mattress

It's absolutely Cocoon-ish

Is that even a word? Who gives a fuck

But I sure do remember that movie from the '80s with all the geriatric folks

And I'm telling you, the full Monarch is the perfect mattress for you

With its climate control remote control

You go to bed feeling like a larvae and wake up feeling like a full on monarch butterfly

If you don't believe me, just ask my buddy Jerry

It's great

Also, make sure to crawl your way to aisle 8 for a taste of heaven

Again, thank you for shopping at Matty's Mattresses where our motto is and always will be

"You've never slept better"

Yeah, ya do