ENTRY 2: Let me grieve.

I know I'm in my feelings but at least I'm feeling Cause I don't want to be numb Why do I need pain in the midst of healing Cause right now I can't see through the fog This my last letter to my old self Yea So I had to make this song cry Blueprint to a better life Building courage up just to fight (Expand the aura to protect the light) Like eustis they tell me I'm useless I'm counting up blues like they clueless I don't let em cap on my usage This spirit inside Don't abuse it I pour it into the music My emotions They making a symphony I ain't asking for pity or sympathy Crawling out of a whole that was meant for me At the door of belief like a witness be God call It's on vibrate I'm busy bee So it's buzzing while I'm going viral They taking my focus off vitals More & more I just give them my heart In a moment I'm gone need a transplant By then it's too late to answer Too many missed calls but I'm passed that Been at war with myself like I'm cancer Forward all of the calls that'll cure it Like why won't I just pick the phone up To be honest I'm scared of the future I heard that my voice is important But I feel I'mma die for this music The industry ask me to calm it down Tell me If I speak truth I look foolish So do I appeal to societal norms Or do continue to dig my grave Not afraid of death I'm afraid of Fame Not afraid of love Just afraid to claim Cause this body ain't mine And neither yours It's a beautiful thing when we rise above Suicide is weak but it's still a choice Don't except defeat or you'll feed the voice And even if you feed it, it don't fill the void