Intro

You used to do comedy when you felt like being funny

But now you're contractually obligated

So dance, you fucking monkey

Dance, monkey, dance

Welcome to the show

This is Bo

This is his show

And Bo likes to dance like this

Welcome to the show

This is Bo

This is his show

And Bo takes off his pants like this

Play an invisible drum

Play an invisible trumpet (Trumpet sound)

Drink some invisible water

Oh, shit, that water's real

Bo wants to make you feel comfortable

Bo wants to make you feel comfortable (Random voice)

Bo wants to make you feel comfortable

So sit back, relax, and enjoy

A healthy dose of

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

(Prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact (Prolonged eye contact)

Lick your lips to make it more comforting

Do you want to see a magic trick?

Do you want to see a magic trick?

Do you want to see a magic trick?

Then pick a card, any card

Psych

Magic isn't real, you idiot

Read a book

Magic isn't real, you idiot

Read a book

Magic isn't real, you idiot

Read a book

Magic isn't real

Or is it?

And at that moment

Bo's 20-year old cynicism melted into child-like wonder

He never knew there could be so much magic in the world

It's a world of possibilities, Bo

What do you want to do first?

Run?

Yeah, sure you can run

Fly?

Well, yeah, you can fly

What?

What are you, what the fuck are you do?

What the fuck are you doing?

Stop, s-stop it, what the

You fucking idiot

Stop, stop, stop

Anyways

In the distance

Bo saw a beautiful fairy

A fairy so beautiful

That he felt proud about being called one in high school

He then came across an old bridge with a troll standing guard

Bo knew that he'd have to answer a riddle to get by

The troll spoke thus

"All right, for the last time, man

I'm not a troll, I'm homeless

Okay, do you have any spare change?

Okay, that's a used napkin

I don't want that

No, no, stop, just

You know what? Leave, just leave, leave, please

And then

As Bo arrived on the other side of the stage

He saw a unicorn, with five horns, right in front of him

And the penta-corn spoke thus

"Hello, Bo

I've been looking for you for quite a long"

He was safe

For now

But the dark thoughts would soon return

It's so hard to be a lizard

It's hard to be a lizard

Tiny arms, itchy gizzard

It's hard to be a lizard

But it's harder to segue

Is he skiing?

Or is he in a gay porn?

Is he skiing? What?

Or is he in a gay porn?

Is he skiing? Huh?

Or is he in a gay porn?

Here's a hint

He's in a gay porn

Okay, Bo, this miming shit is getting pretty annoying

So give them the real thing

My voice is so fucking natural

It's naturally good

Naturally good

Naturally good

This is the end of the song

And the beginning of the show

Welcome to the show

He meant to knock the water over

Yeah, yeah, yeah

But you all thought it was an accident

But he meant to knock the water over

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Art is a lie

Nothing is real

He meant to knock the water over

Yeah, yeah, yeah

But you all thought it was an

He meant to play the track again

Yeah, yeah, yeah

But you all thought it was an accident

But he meant to play the water track again, gain, gain

Art's still a lie

Nothing's still real