The Jolly Executioner

It's said his blade weighed half a tonne

Of Spanish steel, Christ how it shone

With a whistle and thump yer dash were done

And the axe cared not for who you were

He kept a cell below the tower

Where he signed the cross every half an hour

With a calfskin drum and a rat-a-tat-tat

The jolly executioner

He had a son, a drunken sailor

Coulda been a tinker, tyke or tailor

Sailed away to far Australia

To be the executioner

His ropes were short, his knots were tight

He'd plait the hemp by candlelight

With a crack and twang ye bade goodnight

To the jolly executioner

Well, string them high and stretch them well

Burn a candle, strike a bell

Pipe their rotten souls to hell

For the jolly executioner

Then some bloke with a kite and key

Invented electricity

And the job were handed down to me

So fortunate you wish you were

I've cooked them all, the crooks and crumbs

The vagabonds and hapless bums

With a crackle and pop, Old Sparky sung

For the jolly executioner

Well, string them high and stretch them well

Burn a candle, strike a bell

Pipe their rotten souls to hell

For the jolly executioner

Well, string them high and stretch them well

Burn a candle, strike a bell

Pipe their rotten souls to hell

For the jolly executioner

Well, I had a son, near broke me heart

A standalone, a breed apart

Brought death into a dying art

A general practitioner

All white lab coats and PHD's

And 10cc's of antifreeze

A noble art brought to its knees

Farewell to the executioner

Well, string them high and stretch them well

Burn a candle, strike a bell

Pipe their rotten souls to hell

For the jolly executioner

Well, string them high and stretch them well

Burn a candle, strike a bell

Pipe their rotten souls to hell

For the jolly executioner